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I really don't know if you have this problem, but we sometimes get mail delivered to our house that doesn't belong to us. In fact, it may not even be mail that belongs on our street. It may not be mail that belongs anywhere near us and somehow it gets mixed up in the mail that's dropped off at our home. Now, I really appreciate that our mail carrier brings mail to us in all kinds of different weather and all of the stuff they go through. I know it is not an easy job, but what is really frustrating is when something is put into our mailbox that becomes something we need to do something about and it's not ours. It's like I didn't make the mistake of putting it in the wrong mailbox and it's not my mail. Now I have to take time out of my schedule, out of my responsibilities, and what I have to do to make up for something that belongs to somebody else. Both the mistake which goes to the mail carrier and the mail getting to somebody else because it's not mine.

So, that's naturally something that is kind of irritating and frustrating. Now I get to choose whether I'm going to be irritated or frustrated about that or how I think about that or what I do about that. Okay, so if I must confess, if it's junk mail, right, I probably am going to pitch it. If it's something that is junk mail, then I'm just doing the world a favor by not trying to forward that on.

If it is something that looks more valuable, it might get confusing. Do I go hunt down this place that I've never heard of, google it, call somebody, report it to the post office and have the mail person come back and get it? I have options, right? So, I have a choice of something that is just like a flyer that's like, okay, so let's say there's a circular that comes and it has someone else's address on it, but it says to a "resident," that's going in the trash. Now, if something came to me and it looks like it's from something important or that it could be a check, a bill, or it's something medical, well, you can bet I'm going to pay a bit more attention to that.

Even though it's still not mine, even though I didn't make the mistake, and even though I'm not the one that the mail is for, I get to choose what level of involvement I have. So, I can think whenever mail comes that isn't mine what level of response do I want to show up with this? Do I want to allow this to be a minor irritation? Do I want to get really upset about this and tell off the post office? Do I want to tell myself these things happen, and I don't like it, but that's just part of life. That's usually the one I err on, okay?

Now, if they were doing this every day, multiple times a day with multiple people's mail, I'm probably going to call the post office and say, something has to be done about this because I'm wasting too much time doing the job that somebody else isn't doing well to try to get mail to people. So, I'm leveling up my actions based on the frequency and the level of the disturbance and the dysfunction that's going on. So, there's something really wrong if the mail for other people is constantly being given to me.

But if it is just a one time here or there thing, then it's just a fact of life. There's no need to get upset about it, and so I tell myself that, I understand you don't like it, Michelle. It's not your responsibility. Would be great if it didn't happen, but big deal. We're going to roll with it and we're going to be fine.

So, in that, what do I have? I have the ability to choose my thoughts, to choose my feelings, and to choose my actions. Choosing my thoughts, feelings and actions belongs to me. The thoughts, feelings, and actions of the person who made the mistake do not belong to me. That's their stuff. The mail does not belong to me. It belongs to whoever the mail is addressed to. How the person who didn't get their mail or eventually does get their mail, thinks, feels, or acts also does not belong to me. Right? I could go find where this street that I have no idea where it exists is and go drop off the mail, and that person could yell at me for stealing their mail, they could thank me for bringing their mail, or they could just kind of ignore me and just take it from me and no big deal. They get to choose how they think, feel, and act.

So, what do I do then about how they think, feel, and act is I can be irritated if they're rude about it. I can be no big deal. Okay, fine. Glad I brought it to you. Sorry it didn't matter to you anyhow. I can be like, oh, how nice of them to accept that and enjoy it. It volleys back to me as to what I do with the input that comes from this person when I drop off their mail. If I did that, things get tangled when we forget that we are not the other person and that the way someone else thinks, feels, and behaves does not belong to us.

Often as Christian women, we get caught up in feelings of wanting to help and wanting to care. Maybe people telling us something belongs to us that doesn't belong to us as far as what to think, feel, or how to act. It can get confusing because we can have this experience of feeling like we're involved in something that really doesn't involve us. It's kind of like the mail...the mail that ends up at my home that isn't addressed to me and that got there through no fault of my own is not my mail. Now my responsibility is what to do with the stuff that got to me in error, and that's where I can choose what I think and do. I can call the post office, I can search out the owner, or I can ignore it and say probably junk and pitch it. All of those things are once it arrives at my doorstep. The tricky part is that so many times we allow other people's stuff to come to our doorstep and feel like we're responsible for actually managing that stuff that doesn't belong to us.

If I receive an Amazon package to my door of things I never ordered. If I didn't order it, I don't want it, it's not mine. So, I get to say, not mine, take it back or I call Amazon and they say to just keep it anyway. I get to decide if it's valuable and I want to keep it, if I want to pitch it, if I want to donate it, or what I want to do with it because I'm the one responsible for it.

All of this to say that as I give you these two stories, do you ever feel like people's mistakes end up being your responsibility? Like people's feelings or actions end up being something you have to do something about, even though it's not yours. It arrived in your life through no fault of your own, and it's really not yours? Do you find that people put their expectations as to how you should think, feel, or behave onto you? Do you recognize that if and when people do that, you can say not mine, or do you get swept up in the other person's thoughts, feelings and actions about what you should do? It can get pretty complicated if you're not good at sorting through what's your mail or your Amazon packages and somebody else's.

It can be complicated when you don't know what your thoughts and feelings are, your choices for actions, your expectations, your behaviors that you want to do, or what others are trying to get you to do because of their thoughts, feelings, or actions and what they expect of you. It's kind of difficult to sort through this if you're one of these people that gets a lot of other people's stuff and is particularly compassionate, a people-pleaser, or in particular, just wants to make sure you do the right thing, get approval, don't make waves, or don't like people being angry or upset about things. This might be something that you struggle with, and if so, it's understandable and yet it's still not necessarily yours. You're not responsible for other people's mail. You're not responsible for other people's mistakes. You're not responsible to behave a certain way simply because somebody expects that of you or wants that for you because they put that on you. It doesn't make it anymore your mail or your package, and you don't have to follow through on it as if it does.

Where do you need to say, that that just is not mine and I am returning it to sender? You don't get to tell me how to feel about myself or about this situation. You don't get to tell me how I'm going to respond or not. You don't get to tell me how I feel, how I think, or how I'm going to choose to act. And if I disappoint you, that is your disappointment to deal with. That doesn't mean I did anything wrong because I'm staying in my lane.

Romans 14:12 talks about each person needing to give an account to God for our lives. And that's giving an account for how we live our lives. It's not giving an account for how other people think we should live our lives. It's not giving an account for how other people want us to live our lives and whether we lived up to other people's stuff. It is how we lived our lives. What we're responsible for is our thoughts, feelings and actions. We are not responsible for taking on all of the weight of everybody else and their expectations for us.

Could you use a pep talk today? If you want to feel better about being in your own skin and who you are, then look no farther because it's time to say goodbye to insecurity and to know who you are in Christ.

Today's message is coming from the heart, the heart of God towards you through me. So, you've got God's heart and my heart coming at you in today's message, and that is to let you know that you are valuable, and you are unique. You are a masterpiece who has amazing gifts created by a God who does not make mistakes. You can do all things through Christ, who gives you strength. He cares about every detail. He knows the words before they're on your lips. He knows when you're going to go to sleep at night or to stand up from a seated position. His thoughts about you outnumber the grains of sand. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Anything that tries to tell you differently, anyone who tries to diminish you, minimize you, criticize you, condemn you, judge you, shame you, or lie to you, is not of God. They are not acting of God. They are not representing Him, and you don't need to listen to them. So why do we listen? Sometimes because we're not convinced of our own worth. Sometimes we might be insecure about that thing, so it resonates a little bit deeper, whatever it was that someone said.

There was this business meeting I was on with a woman who is lovely. She comes across very professional and yet very personally encouraging and just sweet and just fully capable. She said she got some feedback from somebody, or from many people, I guess, that she was too pushy or direct. She may be direct, but that does not mean she's pushy. She may be direct, but that does not mean it's bad. She is also all of these other wonderful things. So, looking at it through other people's eyes and then judging something, that's a characteristic, because it's different, as if it's bad, is a mistake and it's a lie of the enemy. And he likes to try to do that because if he can make you feel insecure, not worthy, not good enough, question your value, question your right to show up in life, make you feel diminished in any way, then he's effectively hurt you and taken you out of the equation of making an impact.

So, I want to encourage you, be the unique person that you are. Let the world hear you. Let them know who you are because you bring something to the table that no one else does, that no one else can. God doesn't make anything without a purpose, and He has a purpose for you. The Bible says that He has a future and a hope for you, and that hope will not be cut off. If you're not feeling enough today, if you're worried about people judging you, if you're insecure in any way, or you've been hurt before and you're just trying to survive because you don't know how to feel good about yourself going forward, I want you to hear this message today. Rewind it, replay it, play it again if you need to. You are a unique masterpiece.

God made no mistakes when He designed you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you are gifted in amazing ways for such a time as this, the enemy's just scared of you. People who are insecure, who are saying things, that's their problem, that's not yours. You don't have to buy into the lies. You don't have to shrink for anybody, you don't have to overthink, you don't have to try harder, you don't have to play small you don't have to stay quiet when you need to speak up, and you don't need to speak up when you're fine staying quiet. This is not about you and other people. It's like that Mother Teresa prayer. Love people anyway, do good anyway, but it's never been about you and them anyway.

This whole thing is about you and God. This whole thing called life is about you knowing who God is and becoming all that He has designed for you to be so that you can love others and draw others to Him and be Him in the world. Show up reflecting your heavenly Father, the traits of the Holy Spirit who lives in you, the mind of Christ, all of those things live inside of you as a believer. You can claim and hold on to the truth of your identity and be solid, refuse to entertain the lies any further, and make a choice of not listening to lies by saying, I do not accept that, that is not getting into my space. I know the truth about me because I know who made me. I am fine. I am powerful, strong, and determined, and I am God's. He's got great things for me. I am fully capable, fully enough and don't need to apologize for being seen and taking up space and speaking truth and showing up in love with my gifts to glorify God. I want that for you. I want that for me. 

I want you to really take to heart the fact that the rest of it is all clutter and lies just designed to deceive and get you spinning your wheels, get you hurting, get you doubting, get you to stop taking action that will lead others to Christ and bring healing to others and love to others. And we don't need to play that game. Time's too valuable, you're too valuable. God's too valuable. Others are too valuable to listen to lies.

So, I want to encourage you, take a piece of paper out, write down all of the insecurities that you have, all of the lies, all of the things that go through your mind on a day-to-day basis and for each one that you write down, keep a running list of it. You can do this daily; you can do this for a week; you could do this for a month; you could do it for the next hour, whatever you choose. But choose a time frame and brain dump all of those lies, all of those insecurities, all of those doubts and fears, all of those hurtful things, get them out of you onto paper and imagine that that paper is just sticky paper like fly paper and just all the icky flies, all the icky lies get stuck to this paper, and they can't come back onto you.

Then get out another sheet of paper and write down God's truth about you, God's purposes, God's ways, who you are in Christ. And write those down and that put that inside your heart. Hide God's word in your heart, in your mind, in your words, in your self-talk, in the way you show up in the world, in the way you talk to others, in the way you act and think. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways. Acknowledge Him and he will direct your path. Do not be deceived. Don't look to the left or the right. Look up. Walk with God.

I want to remind you one more time before I go. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God loves you and cherishes you and cares about you. He thinks you're to die for, and He did. You are valuable. Now go live in the power of the resurrected Jesus Christ. He loves you that much. And that's what's important in this life, living for Him because He loves everyone that much too. Now go serve Him. And don't let the lies get in the way. Go take on the day.