Jealousy and comparison can stir up powerful emotions.
We can find freedom when we understand what's really going on beneath the surface and learn how to set boundaries that protect our joy. Here’s the good news: jealousy, comparison, and those tough emotions are manageable, and healing is possible.
Comparison steals our joy.
When we compare ourselves to others, it’s easy to feel “less than,” like they’re somehow better or more blessed, and something must be wrong with us. That kind of thinking robs us of the contentment God desires for us.
Not all dissatisfaction is bad.
Feeling dissatisfied doesn’t always mean jealousy is at work. Contentment is a blessing, but dissatisfaction can sometimes signal that there’s room for growth or a need to improve something in our lives. When Scripture talks about being content in all circumstances, it’s not telling us to settle or stop striving. (Philippians 4:11-13) It’s about a heart posture—appreciating what we have while recognizing what God wants to help us improve or heal in our lives.
Sometimes, jealousy sneaks in when we see someone else with something we want.
If we pause and ask, "what is actually missing inside me that’s making me feel this way?" we might find it’s not just about the “thing” itself. Wanting more or wanting change can be a healthy nudge toward growth. But when jealousy and comparison start stealing your joy, that’s a red flag worth paying attention to. Jealousy might look like coveting what someone else has, but it often points to a deeper feeling of lack—maybe low self-esteem, past hurts, or unmet needs for love, attention, or validation.
Boundaries
Boundaries are about respecting yourself and others. Boundaries help you recognize what belongs to you and what belongs to others. Imagine your mind like an apartment. You’re responsible for keeping it clean, safe, and joyful—a place you want to come home to. You get to decide which thoughts, actions, and influences you allow inside, and which you don’t. Just like you wouldn’t let someone dump trash in your home, don’t let negative or jealous thoughts take up residence in your mind. Everyone has their own battles and blessings. When you catch yourself comparing, remind yourself: you’re only seeing a snapshot, a highlight reel. You don’t see their struggles, their pain, or the hard work behind their success. You might think someone “just has it better,” but you’re not seeing their whole story. Even in your own life, there might be parts you don't fully understand yet.
Instead of beating yourself up for feeling jealous, ask yourself:
What is this jealousy pointing to? Am I feeling insecure? Am I feeling loss or rejection?
Awareness is powerful and helps you choose healthy ways to meet your needs. Focus on your self-growth, self-care, and celebrate your strengths. Speak kindly to yourself and remind yourself who you are in Christ. Your value isn’t defined by what others have or do—your value is rooted in God’s love and your unique design.
Seek connection and support.
Find safe people—friends, mentors, counselors—who can listen without judgment and help you feel seen and valued. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” This reminds us how vital peace and contentment are for our well-being. When others are blessed, it doesn’t mean you lack.
Protect your joy, create peace, and open space to bless others with kindness, love, and joy.
You are a beloved child of God, created uniquely with your own gifts and purpose.
Your journey is yours—and that’s a beautiful thing.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed and want some personal support, I’d love to help. Click here to book a free 15-minute consultation. Together, we can explore how coaching or counseling can support you in living a joyful, peaceful life grounded in faith.
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On this week's podcast which, if you missed it, you can hear here I talked about hacks for gaining space, clarity, and rest in everyday life.
I mention that I went to a dark sky park this past weekend with my family and how incredibly soothing and calming it was to look up at the sky without light pollution, to breathe fresh air, and to be present with people I love, while watching God's creation above me.
What I didn't mention was that I went on a date with my husband to our local science center and saw the Pixar exhibit where they showed the science behind how their movies are made.
I. Loved. It.
I learned so much about lighting, and rendering, and sculpting, and modeling of characters and how much detail goes into each still shot
for the story to layout before it all comes together into the movie that we see in theatres.
It takes thousands of computers and so many people working in their zones of genius to make things like Toy Story, Monsters, Inc., and Inside Out come to life, but the really cool thing is that when these people go to work on these movies, they have fun.
There's space to create. One middle-aged executive was shown riding a scooter in the middle of the business complex, and another was using the gym.
Pixar knows that to create at a high level of excellence that you need space to play and space for things to work. Its a way to work smarter, not harder.
You and I can do that, too, by taking time to rest, to play, and to enjoy life.
I mention that I went to a dark sky park this past weekend with my family and how incredibly soothing and calming it was to look up at the sky without light pollution, to breathe fresh air, and to be present with people I love, while watching God's creation above me.
What I didn't mention was that I went on a date with my husband to our local science center and saw the Pixar exhibit where they showed the science behind how their movies are made.
I. Loved. It.
I learned so much about lighting, and rendering, and sculpting, and modeling of characters and how much detail goes into each still shot
for the story to layout before it all comes together into the movie that we see in theatres.
It takes thousands of computers and so many people working in their zones of genius to make things like Toy Story, Monsters, Inc., and Inside Out come to life, but the really cool thing is that when these people go to work on these movies, they have fun.
There's space to create. One middle-aged executive was shown riding a scooter in the middle of the business complex, and another was using the gym.
Pixar knows that to create at a high level of excellence that you need space to play and space for things to work. Its a way to work smarter, not harder.
You and I can do that, too, by taking time to rest, to play, and to enjoy life.
Do you want to hear more on this topic? Take a listen to this week's podcast episode by clicking here.
