What is Re-parenting?
Re-parenting involves addressing and fulfilling unmet needs from our childhood in our adult lives. As we grow, we often carry forward emotional gaps left by experiences of trauma, neglect, or imperfections in caregiving. These gaps can manifest as insecurities, attachment issues, or unhealthy behavioral patterns.
The Foundation of our Needs
Understanding our needs begins with considering our early developmental stage as completely dependent beings. Babies cannot survive without nourishment, comfort, and emotional connection. When these needs are sufficiently met, we develop a nervous system that sees the world as a safe and nurturing place. Conversely, when these are lacking, issues such as attachment trauma or feelings of inadequacy may arise.
Aligning Re-parenting with Christian Faith
For Christians, embracing re-parenting doesn’t conflict with faith. Instead, it is an act of stewardship of oneself, aligning with biblical principles of renewing our minds and capturing our thoughts. God made us in His image with the ability to heal and grow, principles foundational in Christian teachings and neuroplasticity.
Steps Towards Re-parenting with Grace and Truth
- Awareness: Recognizing where our needs were unmet and how these have shaped our present patterns is the first step. This involves introspection and a willingness to observe ourselves compassionately.
- Intentional Nurture: Re-parenting is about intentionally meeting unmet needs through scripture, affirmations, or seeking therapy. It might include replacing negative thoughts with scripture or seeking more grounded, loving relationships.
- Seek Support: Therapy or coaching might be necessary to truly understand and rewire our emotional frameworks. Professional help ensures a guided approach to breaking unhealthy patterns.
- Integrate Faith: Trust in God as the ultimate, loving parent who knows our deep needs. Align your re-parenting journey with faith, allowing God’s truth to guide transformative growth.
Re-parenting as Part of God’s Healing Path for Us
God’s nature as our supportive father is a comforting promise—He does not forsake us and knows our every need. By acknowledging our needs and seeking restoration, we become aware of how beautifully God made us and emphasize the importance of aligning ourselves with His truths for holistic wellbeing.
Re-parenting is not about selfishness but restoration, aligning with God’s divine plan for us to thrive. If you wish to discuss professional counseling or consider mindset coaching, I offer free 15-minute consultations, available through my website at MentalHealthForChristianWomen.com
Invitation for Engagement
This podcast episode and blog post aim to inform and educate, not serve as professional advice. If you have questions or stories to share, like Crystal did, visit MentalHealthForChristianWomen.com to leave an audio message for potential future podcast discussions.
Embrace the journey of re-parenting, and may it lead you to healing, freedom, and joy in God’s comforting embrace.
If this episode resonated with you, please rate and review the show. Share it with friends who might need some encouragement. For more resources and to stay connected, visit our website or check out our Shine membership community for real connections and support on your journey.
I dropped off my daughter at the airport to go on our church mission trip to Uganda, Africa. And it did not go as planned. But we made the best out of what happened. You too, can learn from our experience and make the best out of unforeseen circumstances.
Before we even left our driveway, we noticed something wasn't quite right with the car's windshield. Here in Pittsburgh, it's pretty cold in the morning right now and there was definitely a frost, and unbeknownst to me, my defroster had stopped working.
We didn't make it very far as we realized it wasn't clearing further as anticipated and pulled over just a straight away from home to have my husband come and switch cars with us so I can get her to the airport on time. The first step was recognizing our problem and deciding how to fix it. And taking action as necessary. The next time something like this happens to you, think about what you can do to solve the problem, and take the necessary steps to do it.
We got on our way with a car with a defroster that worked, but we ended up in traffic that was backed up all the way down the hill to the road going toward the airport. Again, an unforeseen circumstance that we could not control. But we knew God was in control.
Were we having fun yet?
Honestly, yes and no. We got to choose our response. You too, can choose your response when something happens that's out of your control. We used the time to speak positive thoughts and to pray. I told her to save time on the other side of the drop off, I would just say my goodbyes to her now so that she could just be booted out of the car when we got to the departure lane at Pittsburgh International Airport.
How will you choose to change your mindset next time something similar to this happens?
What actions will you take to not become upset in the moment?
Enjoy the moment you're in and pray for the situation around you.
It's not always easy when the emotions are bubbling inside, but we always have a choice to make as to where we focus and how we will respond when unavoidable and irritating things happen in life that we didn't plan for and didn't want.
We also have a choice as to how we respond with others when such things happen.
To hear more on this topic, click here to listen to this podcast: When You Feel Angry for being Mistreated - Boundaries and Grace
