communication

There is a woman who started putting plastic ducks on Jeeps in 2020 as an act of connection during a time of such disconnect.  If ever there were a time to find a way to reach out and bless someone else, 2020 was the year.  Well, her act of kindness rippled, and it is now not uncommon to find random Jeeps with rubber ducks on their sideview mirrors.  While I haven't had a Jeep in several years, I kinda want to get one just for the sake of the connection to other Jeep duck givers.  Why?  Well, of course, the ducks are super cute, but also for the joy that it must be for both the giver and the receiver to share a surprise with each other through a colorful duck shaped piece of plastic.  

I can't imagine that people would ever get upset by finding one of those cute little critters when they get back to their vehicle after going grocery shopping or eating lunch at a restaurant, but there probably have been some who are bothered by it.  Why?  Because we are each unique and see things through our own lenses.  Maybe someone had a rough toddler bath time and a rubber duck caused some angst, who knows?  But, what really matters is that we respect each other's needs and wants.

Yet, I can't help but think that there may be people who think they don't want to be ducked but could be sad to find out they actually have been left out of the experience.

After all, it's tricky to manage all of the ins and outs of the human experience.  FOMO, fear of being included, fear of ducks, lol, a lot of what works can seem like a big gamble sometimes when we are dealing with people.  As one client said to me recently, "People, working together, what could go wrong?!?"

Therapists spend a lot of time providing a safe space for people, but even we sometimes commit the terrible faux pas that we call "an empathic failure."  Even though we work very hard to reach a connection point with each person with whom we work, there are times where one or both of our humanity gets in the way of things being neat and clean.  People are sometimes "messy."  

Sometimes, we need to speak up.  Sometimes we need to listen quietly.  Sometimes we need to set boundaries, and sometimes, we need to connect over a good cry or a good laugh.  Often, an apology and taking responsibility for our part in the disconnect can go a long way.  

Understanding that God has made things to work best when we follow His direction for loving each other, even in the messiness, can make things go better.  The following list includes some of my favorite ways to navigate the intricacies of human connections.

When we own our thoughts, feelings, choices, needs, and words and engage with them and others in the ways that God made to work best, we can have an easier time navigating interactions with others.

To listen to the podcast episode related to this blog, click this link.