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I'll never forget the time I went to talk with someone who was hurt because they felt slighted by me.
I hadn't slighted them. I had simply chosen to keep some private information private. However, they found out that I hadn't shared something with them and didn't like it.
Even though my privacy is mine to govern, I still cared that this person was hurt. So, I went to explain why I chose to keep the information private in an attempt to help them feel better. I didn't have to do this, but I chose to.
You too can choose to keep certain information private.
However, as we were talking, I found myself suddenly being treated disrespectfully, told I did bad things I hadn't done, and heard many untruths and manipulations being hurled at me when I had not done any of the things being lobbed at me.
I simply sat, prayed silently, observed the person's tanking behavior and calmly stated that what was being said was not true.
Sometimes we need to take a step back and pray in the midst of difficult situations.
The person got more agitated, as I was, for the first time in my history with this person, not taking the bait nor the responsibility for their DARVO silliness. It was empowering.
When we know who we are and what we have done and haven't done and our reasons for our choices, it is easier to notice lies for what they are and not fall victim to DARVO.
DARVO stands for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender
To hear more about DARVO techniques and how to identify them, click here to catch this week's podcast.
The person got more agitated, as I was, for the first time in my history with this person, not taking the bait nor the responsibility for their DARVO silliness. It was empowering.
When we know who we are and what we have done and haven't done and our reasons for our choices, it is easier to notice lies for what they are and not fall victim to DARVO.
DARVO stands for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender
To hear more about DARVO techniques and how to identify them, click here to catch this week's podcast.
This week has been absolutely crazy.
We've had a car in the shop. My counseling practice has needed me to spend hours on so many pieces of extra paperwork due to it being time for an insurance attestation (don't ask---it's been a nightmare!) And, of course, nothing is cooperating tech-wise, and I'm ready to throw the tech out the window 😩. Yet, there are so many blessings.
We've had a car in the shop. My counseling practice has needed me to spend hours on so many pieces of extra paperwork due to it being time for an insurance attestation (don't ask---it's been a nightmare!) And, of course, nothing is cooperating tech-wise, and I'm ready to throw the tech out the window 😩. Yet, there are so many blessings.
What has been a blessing to you this week?
I'll bet you have felt this way at times, too. It's like there are so many good things, and yet, there are stressors.
The key to managing everything is self talk and prayer.
I'll bet you have felt this way at times, too. It's like there are so many good things, and yet, there are stressors.
The key to managing everything is self talk and prayer.
How are you talking to yourself? Positively or negatively?
How you talk to yourself matters. You can either speak soothing, encouraging words, and words of patience to uplift yourself, or you can speak the language of stress, put downs, and labeling.
And of course, prayer always helps! Let me tell you, I've been positive self-talking' and praying a whole lot this past week!
Well, here's to rejoicing in the good things, trusting God always, and enduring the stressors of life with grace.
How you talk to yourself matters. You can either speak soothing, encouraging words, and words of patience to uplift yourself, or you can speak the language of stress, put downs, and labeling.
And of course, prayer always helps! Let me tell you, I've been positive self-talking' and praying a whole lot this past week!
Well, here's to rejoicing in the good things, trusting God always, and enduring the stressors of life with grace.
To hear more on this topic, listen to this podcast: 1 Powerful Way to Feel More Confident and Have Better Relationships.
