Do you ever feel like you're grinding your wheels, like you're going around a hamster wheel over and over again and expecting different results, but not getting them because things just continue the way they've been going and you really long for change, but you're starting to get discouraged and finding it difficult to meet your goals? If that's you, I want to tell you that there is a difference between someone who is successful at reaching their goals and someone who isn't. That difference can come down oftentimes to one of four things. It can come down to a difference in belief, a difference in habits, a difference in perseverance, and a difference in supports. I want to into that for you, so that you can see what contributes to success and what contributes to failure or lack of moving forward.
4 Things that Make a Difference in Success or Failure at Meeting Goals
- Belief: Belief that it is possible is something that those who achieve have many times, whereas those who don't achieve it don't know they can do it. So, if they don't believe it, they don't follow through on the things that will actually pay off and get it. When I wanted to go back to school for my master's degree in professional counseling, I did not know if I could do it. I was already in my mid-30s, and I had three kids at home and was homeschooling and didn't know if I was going to even get into the program because I had to pass a statistics class to be able to qualify to get into the program. So, statistics is math. I am good with words. I am not good with math. I know my strengths and my limitations, and it was really hard to get through that statistics class, but I did. I didn't succeed on the first test. I got an F on the first test. I remember just crying, thinking I thought I was called to this. I thought I was supposed to be a counselor, but I can't get past this first test in statistics. I had studied so hard. I really studied hard. I thought I understood as well as I was going to. I went in there and I bombed the test, and I didn't know how. I thought, oh my goodness, I'm going to waste my family's money and take time away from my kids all for something that I'm just going to throw time and money away. It's just heartbreaking. I remember my husband and I went out to eat at a nice little Italian cafe place, and I remember that moment. It was between will I continue or will I not? I seriously cried trying to decide. It was so hard because it looked like everything was against me. It did not look to me like I could succeed. I only knew what God had called me to and what I desired, yet this statistics class, this first test was standing in my way. As my husband and I thought about it, and we probably prayed about it, too, I don't really recall at this point, but we just decided that it was worth it to go for it because I was there telling myself that I couldn't pass, but in reality, I probably could pass. I just would have to not fail all of the tests, right? I did end up with a C in that class. That was the hardest class of my whole master's program for me. No matter how many A's I got, that C is the one I am the proudest of because I didn't give up and I worked so hard for it, and I believed that I could at least pass that class. I got a C, and that was good enough for me because that's all I needed, was to have a statistics class under my belt. I already had a sociology class and a psychology class from my undergrad degree, so that was it. I could get into the program. It was wonderful because the rest of it was a piece of cake compared to statistics. I was just so thrilled that I didn't give up. So, the belief that I could do something like pass a class, even though I had failed the first test, was a huge, huge shift in what I thought I could do, because I thought it was all over right then and there. But when I chose to believe that it was possible and that God was calling me forward to do it, it was something that I accomplished with God's strength and my husband's help with math tutoring. I did accomplish it.
- Habits: The habits that actually move someone towards success is another difference. The things that we do on the daily, everyday moments, the things that we do when we're trying to set ourselves up for success and for goals are so important. It's not that we have to be perfect or never slip up, but those things that we do over and over again are the things that set the patterns, and those patterns set the outcomes. If you want to achieve your goals, it's important to set effective habits that you follow through on and do regularly, quite possibly even daily.
- Perseverance: Continue to persevere, just like I did through that statistics class. You don't give up. You keep going. Even when things seem hard or seem impossible, you persevere, you keep showing up, and eventually you get through to the other side and you get to see the success and be so proud of yourself for not giving up.
- Support: Have the right supports along the way if you're going to be successful. People who are successful know people who can mentor them, or they get education from others, whether that's through books, courses, mentorship, counseling, or coaching. Whatever it is that they need, they obtain it. They seek out others who can encourage them. They seek out others who can help lead them on to good things, hold them accountable, and show them what is possible. These supports in mentoring, education, encouragement, and teaching, all of these amazing characteristics of what it takes to get to a certain outcome are the people and the things that are in the environment of successful people. See, successful people don't always have everything given to them. Sometimes they have to seek it out.
It's not that things are just naturally easier for people who succeed towards their goals. It's that the people who succeed towards their goals employ these four steps. They believe that they can, they do the actions and the habits that move them forward. They don't give up and they continue to persevere, and they seek out what they need in the way of supports, knowledge, the education, the encouragement, accountability, and mentorship to make it possible.
Scripture for Reaching Your Goals
I can back these things up scripturally, too. If you are looking to meet your goals and you feel like you've just been running on a hamster wheel or a treadmill and cannot get any traction, I want to encourage you with these scripture verses belief that your success is possible.
Philippians 4:13 says, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
The second one is that you can decide that you will do healthy habits that move you forward towards your goal. I Corinthians 9:24-27 says, do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we for an imperishable wreath. So I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air, but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified. It's like training. It's like training in sports. It's something that you get your system to do again and again.
Then when you think about not giving up, about persevering. Galatians 6:9 might be helpful to you, and that is, let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. The Bible tells us we will reap what we sow. We will reap a harvest if we do not give up. If we sow good things and if we put that in the ground, those actions will produce good results and outcomes, especially when the Lord has called us to it. When the Lord is stirring our hearts to do something like me going for my counseling degree, we can trust His voice even if we don't see how it's possible because He won't leave us. He will empower us, and He will go before us and make a way.
Finally, Hebrews 10:24-25 speaks to the importance of having others around you who can help which says, let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another. And all the more as you see the day drawing near.
Then, to get knowledge is also supported in Proverbs 16:16 biblically and says, how much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight rather than silver?
If you like snow and winter, I am so happy for you because that must be amazing to have that as something to enjoy in your winter arsenal. But for me, it's very, very difficult. In fact, I'm not certain that I may actually have seasonal affective disorder to a mild degree. I actually find the dark days of winter and snow and cold and getting dark earlier rough for me. I have to intentionally choose to bring light and joy and happiness into my surroundings. It's not necessarily that anything has changed except my perception. My being, the way I feel in time and space and my environment and just inside my own skin is affected by whether it is sunny and bright or cloudy and overcast and cold and snowy.
I don't mind snow if there's sunshine and there's no ice on the road, so t's more the fact of the dark bleakness. I know some people find that romantic and they love that. I'm okay with the occasional rainy day. I'm okay with the occasional nice snowstorm that's in the evening, and then you wake up and the sun is shining. But I don't do well with day after day of gray skies, early dark, snow, and ice. It's just not my thing.
Whether you agree with my dislike or you actually enjoy it, I know there is something for me that the sunshine does. The sunshine just makes things better. Now, that doesn't mean I like it totally in my eyes all the time or beating down on me, making me sweat, but if I had to choose between snow in dark, bleak, gray, and snow with sunlight, I'm going to choose sunlight and snow every time (even if I have to wear sunglasses like I'm doing right now, because the glare is so bright).
I want you to think about those things in your life that affect you and your environment. It might not be the weather, it might not be the scenery, might not be sunshine or snow, but maybe it's music, maybe it's people, maybe it's places, maybe it's things, right? There are certain things that will lift our spirits and certain things that make us feel defeated or down or bleak.
Let the Sunshine In
What I want to speak to today is that we need to cultivate with intention those things that bring our minds peace and our hearts joy. For me, let the sunshine in! There was a song in the Flintstones cartoon reruns when I was a kid. It went like this: Let the sunshine in. Face it with a grin. I thought, I like that song. It has the word sunshine in it. Also, one of my first songs I knew as a kid was, "You Are My Sunshine." It is something that has gone back with me as long as I know and as long as I can remember. I like to think of sunshine as God's light. I know that God put that light in the sky, and when I think about sunshine, sometimes I even make the "u" into an "o". I want the sun to shine on me. God, Jesus, His light to shine in my life, because it makes everything better. It takes away the bleakness; it takes away the mundane.
Does This Bring Me Life or Death?
If you can pinpoint something, whether it's sunshine, whether it's your faith in Jesus, which I hope it is, if you're listening to this podcast for certain, that that probably is something that we have in common, and that's a non-negotiable. Then these other things, like our environment, the people around us, and the things we choose to read or watch or do, can either breathe life or death. It says in the Bible that life or death is in the power of the tongue. I believe that that's true. I also believe that what we focus on can bring us life or death. Metaphorically speaking. We can choose to have things in our lives that bring us joy, that cultivate joy, that cultivate hope, and that cultivate encouragement. So maybe turn off that thing that is draining you or causing you to fear. Maybe turn on some praise music or some favorite happy pop music or whatever that is for you. Maybe dance or exercise, or go for a walk with a friend, or go exercise, watch some cartoons, do some art project. Bring joy, bring happiness. Cultivate focus.
When I'm holed up in my home with snow all over the ground and too cold to go out and just not feeling very energetic, I try to focus on what my input is, what I read, what I watch, who I spend time with, and what we do when we spend time together. Those are the things that give life. If you're feeling discouraged today, if the winter doldrums have gotten you down, if you're going through a rough patch in life, I want you to remember that you can always make a choice to look for something good in your life, in your environment, and make an intention to have it, even during the bleakest times. It may simply be that you pick up one thing at the store that brings you joy, make yourself a nourishing meal, allow yourself the pleasure of a nice nap or a good call with an old friend, take your dog for a walk while picking up something that just makes you smile to look at it, or go outside and breathe in the fresh air and just spend time in God's presence.
Better Days Are Coming
Sometimes the bleakness sneaks up on you, and if the bleakness has snuck up on you and you're like, wait a minute, I'm more down than I am up, take a moment and intentionally choose what you will do each day that is going to bring life until you do that so often that better days are coming. My grandmother always said, better days are coming, Michelle. Better days are coming, and my grandfather always said, up above the clouds, the sun is shining. I think those are so true. We just have to hold on. I'm going back to my 80s roots here, my teenage 80s roots with the song, "Hold On." It's like, hold on for one more day...things will go your way. I love that song. That song is so important in its messaging, because sometimes we feel like we just can't take one more thing.
Just do one thing to cultivate joy in your life. One more thing to focus and hold on to the Lord until you do it again and again until the sun starts to shine for you. The sunshine will come out. Jesus is still Jesus, and He loves you, and He has good for you and a good plan for your life.
If it doesn't feel like it right now, choose your focus, choose your actions, choose what you do and who you spend time with, and look for the good. Make something good. When I feel that way and I'm cooped up in the house, I love the fireplace and I can cozy up with my favorite blanket and a book. Oh, look, here's the dog! I can have a nice conversation with somebody. I can go clean something that makes me feel all fresh and alive.
Whatever it is that's in your hands to do, you can choose to do it to the glory of God, and you can do it for joy. Building light into your day, day after day, until you get into a sunnier season of life. I hope that helps you today. Just to be encouraged that better days are coming. The sun is shining up above the clouds. Whether you do that with an S-U-N or ultimately S-O-N, Jesus is shining. He still has good for you. Just hold on for one more day.
