Do you ever feel like you're grinding your wheels, like you're going around a hamster wheel over and over again and expecting different results, but not getting them because things just continue the way they've been going and you really long for change, but you're starting to get discouraged and finding it difficult to meet your goals? If that's you, I want to tell you that there is a difference between someone who is successful at reaching their goals and someone who isn't. That difference can come down oftentimes to one of four things. It can come down to a difference in belief, a difference in habits, a difference in perseverance, and a difference in supports. I want to into that for you, so that you can see what contributes to success and what contributes to failure or lack of moving forward.
4 Things that Make a Difference in Success or Failure at Meeting Goals
- Belief: Belief that it is possible is something that those who achieve have many times, whereas those who don't achieve it don't know they can do it. So, if they don't believe it, they don't follow through on the things that will actually pay off and get it. When I wanted to go back to school for my master's degree in professional counseling, I did not know if I could do it. I was already in my mid-30s, and I had three kids at home and was homeschooling and didn't know if I was going to even get into the program because I had to pass a statistics class to be able to qualify to get into the program. So, statistics is math. I am good with words. I am not good with math. I know my strengths and my limitations, and it was really hard to get through that statistics class, but I did. I didn't succeed on the first test. I got an F on the first test. I remember just crying, thinking I thought I was called to this. I thought I was supposed to be a counselor, but I can't get past this first test in statistics. I had studied so hard. I really studied hard. I thought I understood as well as I was going to. I went in there and I bombed the test, and I didn't know how. I thought, oh my goodness, I'm going to waste my family's money and take time away from my kids all for something that I'm just going to throw time and money away. It's just heartbreaking. I remember my husband and I went out to eat at a nice little Italian cafe place, and I remember that moment. It was between will I continue or will I not? I seriously cried trying to decide. It was so hard because it looked like everything was against me. It did not look to me like I could succeed. I only knew what God had called me to and what I desired, yet this statistics class, this first test was standing in my way. As my husband and I thought about it, and we probably prayed about it, too, I don't really recall at this point, but we just decided that it was worth it to go for it because I was there telling myself that I couldn't pass, but in reality, I probably could pass. I just would have to not fail all of the tests, right? I did end up with a C in that class. That was the hardest class of my whole master's program for me. No matter how many A's I got, that C is the one I am the proudest of because I didn't give up and I worked so hard for it, and I believed that I could at least pass that class. I got a C, and that was good enough for me because that's all I needed, was to have a statistics class under my belt. I already had a sociology class and a psychology class from my undergrad degree, so that was it. I could get into the program. It was wonderful because the rest of it was a piece of cake compared to statistics. I was just so thrilled that I didn't give up. So, the belief that I could do something like pass a class, even though I had failed the first test, was a huge, huge shift in what I thought I could do, because I thought it was all over right then and there. But when I chose to believe that it was possible and that God was calling me forward to do it, it was something that I accomplished with God's strength and my husband's help with math tutoring. I did accomplish it.
- Habits: The habits that actually move someone towards success is another difference. The things that we do on the daily, everyday moments, the things that we do when we're trying to set ourselves up for success and for goals are so important. It's not that we have to be perfect or never slip up, but those things that we do over and over again are the things that set the patterns, and those patterns set the outcomes. If you want to achieve your goals, it's important to set effective habits that you follow through on and do regularly, quite possibly even daily.
- Perseverance: Continue to persevere, just like I did through that statistics class. You don't give up. You keep going. Even when things seem hard or seem impossible, you persevere, you keep showing up, and eventually you get through to the other side and you get to see the success and be so proud of yourself for not giving up.
- Support: Have the right supports along the way if you're going to be successful. People who are successful know people who can mentor them, or they get education from others, whether that's through books, courses, mentorship, counseling, or coaching. Whatever it is that they need, they obtain it. They seek out others who can encourage them. They seek out others who can help lead them on to good things, hold them accountable, and show them what is possible. These supports in mentoring, education, encouragement, and teaching, all of these amazing characteristics of what it takes to get to a certain outcome are the people and the things that are in the environment of successful people. See, successful people don't always have everything given to them. Sometimes they have to seek it out.
It's not that things are just naturally easier for people who succeed towards their goals. It's that the people who succeed towards their goals employ these four steps. They believe that they can, they do the actions and the habits that move them forward. They don't give up and they continue to persevere, and they seek out what they need in the way of supports, knowledge, the education, the encouragement, accountability, and mentorship to make it possible.
Scripture for Reaching Your Goals
I can back these things up scripturally, too. If you are looking to meet your goals and you feel like you've just been running on a hamster wheel or a treadmill and cannot get any traction, I want to encourage you with these scripture verses belief that your success is possible.
Philippians 4:13 says, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
The second one is that you can decide that you will do healthy habits that move you forward towards your goal. I Corinthians 9:24-27 says, do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we for an imperishable wreath. So I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air, but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified. It's like training. It's like training in sports. It's something that you get your system to do again and again.
Then when you think about not giving up, about persevering. Galatians 6:9 might be helpful to you, and that is, let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. The Bible tells us we will reap what we sow. We will reap a harvest if we do not give up. If we sow good things and if we put that in the ground, those actions will produce good results and outcomes, especially when the Lord has called us to it. When the Lord is stirring our hearts to do something like me going for my counseling degree, we can trust His voice even if we don't see how it's possible because He won't leave us. He will empower us, and He will go before us and make a way.
Finally, Hebrews 10:24-25 speaks to the importance of having others around you who can help which says, let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another. And all the more as you see the day drawing near.
Then, to get knowledge is also supported in Proverbs 16:16 biblically and says, how much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight rather than silver?
What Are SMART Goals?
Now, we talked in the last episode about kind of reflecting back before we think about our new year's resolutions and our goals and the things that we're going to do. Today we're going to actually talk about goals. In that vein, I want to explain that there is something called SMART goals, and you may have heard of them, SMART.
Each letter has a word for which it stands:
S=Specific
M=Measurable
A=Achievable
R=Relevant
T=Timely
Now, there are sometimes variations of those words, but those are basically it. If you take each one, they can help you have good goal setting.
"Specific" means being as detailed as possible. You want to be as detailed as possible with everything in there that can tell you so specifically and succinctly what the actual goal is that you're trying to achieve. So, you might want to make a car payment and you're trying to figure out how to have that much money. You wouldn't just say, I'm going to make my car payment. You would say, I am going to raise $500 by the end of the month so that I can pay the car payment. You want it to be as specific as possible. You may even want to say how you're going to raise it by increasing my work hours, 3 hours a week. Then you really have something to sink your teeth into as you take action.
"Measurable" is something that says, basically, here is how I will know when I get there. If you look at the goal that we just said it would be, did I make the $500 by the end of the month to make the payment?
"Achievable" is something that if you're making minimum wage and you're only able to get an hour a week, that's not going to be achievable.
Therefore, it's not very "relevant" or realistic because it's not going to be able to help you get that goal very easily because we need to make things doable based on where we are in time and the circumstances that we're in.
Then "timely" is the last one, which is where we already threw that into the specifics and that timely is end of the month...maybe January 30th or 31st. We want to make sure we have all of those elements in there.
Give SMART Goals More Power
Now, that's a pretty standard way to do some goal setting, but what I like to do with it is change it a little bit to give it a little more power.
What Do I Need and What Could Go Wrong?
With specific, I try to throw all those goodies in there like I just shared, but then I like to also look at what is needed. What do I need? Is it possible for me to do this? What do I need to be able to achieve this? For instance, you don't have a job, then you need to get a job first, right. It's very important to have the tools that you need to be able to do it.
Another question I like to throw in there is what could go wrong so that we could plan for things that might not be foreseen that easily when we're making these goals. What could go wrong is maybe the boss is shutting down for the whole month of January because they're renovating the shop or changing processes at work, so you're not going to get that many hours.
So, what do I need? What could go wrong and what will I do? Go back and say, okay, let's rework this goal for making allowances for the things that might come in or the things that I don't have access to that will allow me to realistically hit this goal and make it something doable.
To go back and revisit the goals is the really big piece. You don't want to just say, okay, I didn't hit that goal. Like so many people this time of year, make a goal of getting in shape or losing weight, and those are fine goals. Be more specific about them, such as I will lose five pounds by working out three days a week for 15 minutes at a time walking on my treadmill at home. Now, if you don't have a treadmill, then that's a need and that's not going to work, but if you do, you put that all together.
Before Giving Up on a Goal, Ask What's Not Working & Tweak It
But let's say that you're looking at, is this working or not? Before you give up, you may want to say, well, what's not working about this goal? Okay, well, I have it in my schedule that I'm going to do it at 6 every morning, but I actually don't wake up until 7. Well, then you need to rework the goal.
The big thing is to keep the goal front and center in writing, revisit it and tweak it as necessary. Because as things come up that you weren't aware of, rather than chuck the goal, find out what got in the way so that you can revise it. Revamp it so that it does work for you. Instead of trying to get on the treadmill at 6 when you don't wake up till 7, either go to bed earlier the night before so that you can get up and do it at 6 or put the time you're going on the treadmill later in the day.
Sometimes you might need to rearrange when things happen. You might need to tweak other things in your life to make the specifics possible. When you really look at it and ask yourself what is working, what isn't and what will I do now? It helps you not to throw out the overall goal because the goal is likely something very good for you to try to achieve. Don't throw out the goal. Figure out where in the process you're going off track and what you need to revise. All right, that's it for today. I hope you have fun looking towards the new year and designing your goals. Go take on the day!
