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The myth of perfect is what I'm talking about today. First of all, are you God? NO. Are you, you? YES, so you can't be perfect, so we just cleared that up. Can you do things well? Yes, of course you can do things well. Do you want to do things well? Of course, we want to do things well, but the myth of perfect says that it's perfect. For instance, if you do want to go buy those extra gifts so everything looks like there's an abundance under the tree of these amazing gifts, is that really perfect? If then behind the scenes, you're trying to struggle to pay off credit cards, which then leads you to be nervous, which then leads you to work more, which then takes you away from your kids. I think the kids would rather have fewer gifts and have mom or dad present and less stressed than paying for gifts they couldn't afford.

Assuming that something is perfect doesn't leave room for the fact that perfect may not be as perfect as you think it is. For instance, it might be perfect to have the grandparents over.  If they could just come out or if we could fly them out for the holidays, the holidays would be perfect. Well, it might be great to have the grandparents come out for the holidays. That's wonderful. But it won't be perfect. Let's be real. If they're staying with you, it's going to be tight quarters, no matter how big your house is. Abraham Lincoln said, after three days, visitors, like fish, start to stink. The truth is that even good things can have drawbacks. Grandma and Grandpa can be there, but then that means Grandma and Grandpa could be there. You may have a beautiful home that you've decorated, really lovely, and if your kids are playing with their toys and you have expensive stuff out, it may look perfect, but if it comes crashing down and everybody's upset and being punished. Is that really perfect? We have to realize that there is this ability to just roll with it that allows things to be more perfect than perfect. I may not get to everything on that list, and that's okay. I was kind to my kids, and we played, and we enjoyed time. So, we didn't get everything wrapped, and we gave it to each other in a bag instead. So what? Let yourself off the hook.

You don't have to have ten different made-from-scratch meals on the table or recipes. You don't have to have ten made from scratch. Recipes all made on the table on Christmas Day. It's okay to order from Olive Garden. It's okay to pick up a turkey from Bob Evans. You can swing by the bakery and get some cookies or a pie or cake. Get some help if you need it. You don't have to pretend you're superwoman. You don't have to pretend you have it all together. Here's the truth: no one has it all together. If you think that having it all together is what makes you perfect, well, that makes you imperfect because you're believing something that isn't true. Believing something that isn't true isn't perfect because we can only believe things that are true and have them be true. If we're believing things that are false, we can believe them, but that doesn't make them true. All right, a lot of double talk there, but hopefully you understand what I'm saying.

When people use the phrase perfect, it sets up the belief, the unspoken, that anything less than this vision someone has is not ideal. The problem is, who are you to say what the ideal vision for everybody is? Some people might think that going to Disney World for Christmas is perfect. The atmosphere is amazing. Some people might think that is the most horrible use of money and crowds. I can't stand them, yet if you're trying to take everyone to Disney World and the people in your group would rather go on a sleigh ride at night in some quiet northern community, and you've just taken them to Disney World, it's only perfect in your mind because it didn't bless everybody. You're not going to be able to bless everybody all the time. You can try to bless people, but perfect to a two-year-old might be playing with the wrapping paper in the box and Mom and Dad not getting upset because they couldn't care less about the toy. That's a whole lot more perfect than, look, I got you this toy and you should like it, and Mom and Dad are upset, and the toy didn't get put together right and it's not working. And where's the batteries? We don't need all of that. The kid's happy with the box.

Let's wake up and appreciate what we actually have. Stop stressing about giving your kids good memories and give them good memories by being there, being relaxed, going with the flow, laughing when the turkey burns, laughing when the cake falls down and go, oh, my goodness. Or by going, oh, that was so hard, but we can clean it up and then we can figure something else out. The way that you approach the holidays, the way you approach it with stress or without stress, with giving yourself time to relax and enjoy or not, is what you're modeling for your kids as you strive for perfect with your kids. If this is something that you're struggling with this year, I want you to ask yourself, is it really perfect for your kids to see you running around with no time to relax, getting to the edge of your temper, not having time to sit down and just hold them and watch television or snuggle or read a Bible story? Let's evaluate. Is it really as perfect as what you're trying to achieve? Or is that just a myth in your head?

You can do some things that you want to do, but that there is no perfect holiday because it's all variable. Everybody's view is different. You don't have to attain a certain quota of a certain number of recipes that are on the table. You don't have to have a certain way that the tablecloth looks. You don't have to have gifts wrapped a certain way. Sometimes the beauty is in the imperfection, with the relationship being the main focus, Christ being the main focus, and love being the main focus. If you find that your priorities this time of year go to tasks rather than people and rather than the One that Christmas is all about and the love that He came to give us all, that's not really perfect, is it? Cut yourself some slack. It's okay to relax and enjoy the holidays!

I think this is more of a prevalent thing that comes up from time to time when working with Christian women in the counseling room or in coaching type things. And that is that they are the exception, that they are an exception to the way God works, that they are the exception to how things go or what they can trust in.

They are the exception as far as not being good enough. And so that lie keeps them from stepping into all of the power that's there for them. It's like being in a candy shop as a kid and someone says, go wild. It's all yours. And we just leave all the candy. Like, oh, no, I've got to go home. And we just leave all of the things there in this candy shop, and there's so much power. We have power in gumballs.

We have power in those cinnamon hard candies. We have power in chewing gum and whatever else you could think of. Twizzlers and Twix and Hershey bars. Whatever. Okay? There's power in this metaphor. If each of those candy bars had a power, then you'd get something good from each one of them, right?

So in the Bible, there are promises, and each one of them has something good for you. But if you don't pick it up and you don't chew on it and you don't claim it as yours, and you don't use it for what it's intended to be used for, you're letting power just kind of be left on the table, left in the candy store, left not impacting your life. It's like walking out of that candy store.

It's walking away from this power that's already yours. And that is such a common misconception of how it works. We have to be good enough for God to approve of us. We are not good enough. We're faulty. We are less than. Those are the things that a lot of times Christian women come into care for, and they're so not based on truth or reality. I just talked to a woman this morning who was saying that she was hoping she made some sort of impact in the world.

Well, how could she not? Like, you don't have to hope for it. Just do it. It's already something you do. Every time you do something, you're making an impact, right? If I hold the door open for somebody, I'm making an impact. Don't qualify those things as whether they're big enough or good enough or whether they're too bad stuff does make an impact. It might be neutral impact. It might be a positive impact might be a negative impact. You're making an impact.

But the better question would be what am I going to do today to intentionally take steps to make an impact in an area that God's calling me to or in an area I'd like to? What would that be? I will make an impact. I do make an impact and I can choose to do that even more. I can choose to do that more times. I can choose to do that more broadly. Maybe the impact is I buy back to school supplies for a kid or I could fill a bus or I could ask a bus rental company, hey, would you come here and then put out flyers and all the community can come and fill a bus. Fill a bus with school supplies. Okay? Whatever level you do, whatever you do on is fine. You're having an impact.

Don't let the lies of the enemy minimize. Don't let the way you feel about your capabilities minimize. God is not a God who didn't equip you, who messed up, who didn't make you right. Jesus is not a savior whose blood didn't cover it all. It covered all. And if you accept Jesus as your savior and live with Him as your savior, it is a done deal. You are good enough because He is good enough. And God made you!

So you've got things good going for you. Don't believe the lies. You already are saved. You already are valuable. You already are enough as the beautiful human creation that God poured into you and the fact that you've chosen God and He is in you and greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world and God's got you. So you can definitely say I am enough because you were purchased with a valuable price.

When people think those promises in the Bible don't apply to me, yes they do. They may not be helpful to you if you don't believe them, if you don't let them apply to you, but they are there for the taking. Just like the candy. Only this is like a refillable candy store, right? You can take and it'll just keep replenishing. You can go back for more. You can ask your heavenly Father for what you need more of. You have resources and power and knowing that you're not going to use it up. It's an endless supply from God. You can get the things that you need to do, the things that you're doing, things that you're called to. And the way you get that is by believing in God's Word and His truth.

I encourage you to go take a look at scripture. It's important to know the tools in your toolbox. Truth, power, substance those already are things you can bring to the table because they've already been given to you.  If you doubt yourself, please stop. That doesn't do anybody any favors. That's like saying, oh, the enemy is a bully, and, well, the bully said mean things, so now I can't have fun playing.

Oh, what do you do with a bully? You tell your daddy. You tell a teacher, get the big guy in charge. And you say, I don't like that bully. And then what's? The parents say, don't let him bully you. Okay? Right. I don't have to stay to be bullied. I don't have to engage with fights that I'm not a part of, that God has already won. I can be powerful. I can make an impact. I can be free in Christ because of who God is. And make those affirmations and those declarations in your life. 

Go take on the day.