Have you ever done something or lived in the same place for many years and then got uprooted from your sense of normalcy? If so, you know this can be a struggle. Here are 10 ways to move toward peace and healing. Whenever we have a big transition, even if it's positive, such as going on vacation to Disney World, there is still going to be stress. Even though going on a vacation "should" be a positive experience. Whether the transition is positive or negative, its a disruption to what's familiar.
1. Normalize the Reaction:
Let yourself know that your nervous system has been through a lot. Show yourself compassion, not shame. Give yourself grace, positive self-talk, and reassurance. Acknowledge this is hard. "Why don't we take a deep breath and take a nap?" Self-care is important.
2. Chunk Down the Things that are All Together
Break it down into manageable steps. Ask yourself: what is one small thing that you can do today that will help you feel even the slightest bit better and more grounded? It can be one new task a day or even each week. Chunk it down so that it's not overwhelming.
3. Make Short and Long Term Goals
Make two separate lists; one for short term and one for long term goals. For example, it could be goals for a week and goals for a month. Whatever works best for you. If you put things into categories you can get more of a handle on it sometimes and that can help you feel more in control and less anxious.
4. Use Grounding Tools Daily
Deep slow breathing to regulate your Nervous System. Sipping water, something comforting...whatever it is that has a slowing effect. Bring in your senses. What does it taste like? What does it feel like? What temperature is it? What speed am I going? Whatever you can tune into with your senses helps to ground you in the here and now. The present moment is where your power is. Even 5 minutes a day of this type of regulation can help your body come back into balance. So find something you can do and make it a habit.
5. Recreate Familiar Routines
Recreate something that you used to do and enjoy. Something that builds familiarity in your routine helps you to say "I am safe again." For example, having coffee while sitting on your porch.
6. Name and Express the Grief and Loss You're Having
Losses must be honored. Say it out loud or write in a journal what your feelings are. "I am sad." "I miss my hometown." "I miss my friends." Then find a way to process through the grief. Journaling, talking to someone, seeking out professional counsel, asking for prayer can all help.
7. Improve Communication with your Spouse
If they don't understand, you can feel unsupported and lonely. If you're talking emotions and your husband is talking logic, ask him if he can comfort the emotions first before he tries to give you logic. Or reverse it if needed. Find supportive people who are safe and can help your Nervous System regulate.
8. Build New Support, One Connection at a Time
Take one small step. Send one short text. Do one coffee invite. Slow, consistent action and connection builds trust and helps you to feel more in control of what feels uncontrollable.
9. Return to your Source of Strength
The Lord is near to the broken hearted. "I am broken hearted and He is near to me." "I can trust in the Lord with all my heart and He will direct my path." (Proverbs 3:5-6) You can own that this is where you're at and God is with you. In our weakness, God is strong.
10. Give Yourself Credit and Celebrate Each Win
Every time you take a small step, you're reclaiming safety. You're helping your Nervous System realize that it did survive. I made a new friend, I asked for help, I shared my feelings, I had positive self-talk. These moments matter, so celebrate them.
You are not alone and you're not too far gone. There is a path forward. Just take it one step at a time. Do the next thing that makes the biggest difference.
I hope this gave you a framework for understanding whenever you have transitions, whether positive or negative. Negative feelings don't necessarily mean that you're doing anything wrong.
If this episode resonated with you, please rate and review the show. Share it with friends who might need some encouragement. For more resources and to stay connected, visit our website or check out our Shine membership community for real connections and support on your journey.
Have you ever found yourself trying to control something that is beyond your ability? Found yourself battling thoughts of jealousy or comparison? If so, you know that these types of things can steal your joy. Here are 9 COMMON JOY-STEALERS common joy-stealers that clients often share about in one way or another in the therapy room and tips for how to stop them from running the show.
1. Comparison
Comparing yourself to others, whether in terms of looks, parenting, finances, or anything else, sets you up to feel inferior. The problem is, there's no end to comparisons. Remember, God has marked out a unique path for you. Embracing your own gifts and circumstances, rather than measuring up, can break this cycle.
2. Lies We Tell Ourselves
Self-deceiving language often starts with "should." Avoid sentences like "I should be grateful" or "I shouldn’t feel upset." Acknowledging your true feelings is essential for healing. Skipping genuine emotions with platitudes prevents authentic healing. Start from a place of truth for genuine recovery.
3. Judgment
Self-judgment and judging others not only steal your joy but also entrench shame and fear. Discernment offers clarity, while judgment divides us from ourselves and others. Instead of labeling, focus on understanding behaviors for what they are without unnecessary tags.
4. Fear of What Others Think
The fear of others' opinions often hinges on assumptions. Even if someone holds a negative opinion of you, it doesn't define your truth. Stay aligned with your values and maintain confidence in your worth, which isn't up for debate.
5. Self-Criticism
Self-talk matters. Encouraging yourself rather than resorting to criticism, like calling oneself lazy for needing rest, fosters better growth. Honor your body's cues and needs, and speak to yourself with the kindness and compassion God offers.
6. Unrealistic Expectations
Holding onto ideals like "family should always get along" or "holidays must be magical" leads to disappointment. Face and accept reality with hope and faith, understanding that prayer and honesty about the current situation bring true peace.
7. Unresolved Trauma
Consistent triggering and survival mode are signs of unresolved trauma, not spiritual failure. Therapy can lead to healing, providing space to honor your mind and body's needs.
8. Overcommitting
While there are only 168 hours in a week, overfilling this time with tasks leaves no room for joy. Balance is key; prioritize wisely and remember that saying no to new commitments can be a wise choice, not a selfish one.
9. Taking Unnecessary Responsibility
You are not accountable for managing others' emotions or actions. Compassion doesn't mean bearing the weight of others' issues. Own your life, set boundaries, and focus on stewarding your peace and joy.
Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and a conscious choice to defend. Prayer, journaling, and processing these joy-stealers can help reclaim lost joy. Remember, you were created for more than mere survival; you were made for God-given joy and peace. If you struggle with these joy-stealers, consider reaching out. I offer free 15-minute consultations to explore the benefits of coaching or counseling. Visit the show notes or our website for more information.
Remember, you are made to live with clarity, confidence, and a deep peace that surpasses all understanding. Until next time, keep shining and take care.
If this episode resonated with you, please rate and review the show. Share it with friends who might need some encouragement. For more resources and to stay connected, visit our website or check out our Shine membership community for real connections and support on your journey.
