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I'll never forget the time I went to talk with someone who was hurt because they felt slighted by me.
I hadn't slighted them. I had simply chosen to keep some private information private. However, they found out that I hadn't shared something with them and didn't like it.
Even though my privacy is mine to govern, I still cared that this person was hurt. So, I went to explain why I chose to keep the information private in an attempt to help them feel better. I didn't have to do this, but I chose to.
You too can choose to keep certain information private.
However, as we were talking, I found myself suddenly being treated disrespectfully, told I did bad things I hadn't done, and heard many untruths and manipulations being hurled at me when I had not done any of the things being lobbed at me.
I simply sat, prayed silently, observed the person's tanking behavior and calmly stated that what was being said was not true.
Sometimes we need to take a step back and pray in the midst of difficult situations.
The person got more agitated, as I was, for the first time in my history with this person, not taking the bait nor the responsibility for their DARVO silliness. It was empowering.
When we know who we are and what we have done and haven't done and our reasons for our choices, it is easier to notice lies for what they are and not fall victim to DARVO.
DARVO stands for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender
To hear more about DARVO techniques and how to identify them, click here to catch this week's podcast.
The person got more agitated, as I was, for the first time in my history with this person, not taking the bait nor the responsibility for their DARVO silliness. It was empowering.
When we know who we are and what we have done and haven't done and our reasons for our choices, it is easier to notice lies for what they are and not fall victim to DARVO.
DARVO stands for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender
To hear more about DARVO techniques and how to identify them, click here to catch this week's podcast.
