mindset

If you like snow and winter, I am so happy for you because that must be amazing to have that as something to enjoy in your winter arsenal. But for me, it's very, very difficult. In fact, I'm not certain that I may actually have seasonal affective disorder to a mild degree. I actually find the dark days of winter and snow and cold and getting dark earlier rough for me. I have to intentionally choose to bring light and joy and happiness into my surroundings. It's not necessarily that anything has changed except my perception. My being, the way I feel in time and space and my environment and just inside my own skin is affected by whether it is sunny and bright or cloudy and overcast and cold and snowy.

I don't mind snow if there's sunshine and there's no ice on the road, so t's more the fact of the dark bleakness. I know some people find that romantic and they love that. I'm okay with the occasional rainy day. I'm okay with the occasional nice snowstorm that's in the evening, and then you wake up and the sun is shining. But I don't do well with day after day of gray skies, early dark, snow, and ice. It's just not my thing.

Whether you agree with my dislike or you actually enjoy it, I know there is something for me that the sunshine does. The sunshine just makes things better. Now, that doesn't mean I like it totally in my eyes all the time or beating down on me, making me sweat, but if I had to choose between snow in dark, bleak, gray, and snow with sunlight, I'm going to choose sunlight and snow every time (even if I have to wear sunglasses like I'm doing right now, because the glare is so bright). 

I want you to think about those things in your life that affect you and your environment. It might not be the weather, it might not be the scenery, might not be sunshine or snow, but maybe it's music, maybe it's people, maybe it's places, maybe it's things, right? There are certain things that will lift our spirits and certain things that make us feel defeated or down or bleak.

What I want to speak to today is that we need to cultivate with intention those things that bring our minds peace and our hearts joy. For me, let the sunshine in! There was a song in the Flintstones cartoon reruns when I was a kid. It went like this: Let the sunshine in. Face it with a grin. I thought, I like that song. It has the word sunshine in it. Also, one of my first songs I knew as a kid was, "You Are My Sunshine." It is something that has gone back with me as long as I know and as long as I can remember. I like to think of sunshine as God's light. I know that God put that light in the sky, and when I think about sunshine, sometimes I even make the "u" into an "o". I want the sun to shine on me. God, Jesus, His light to shine in my life, because it makes everything better. It takes away the bleakness; it takes away the mundane.

If you can pinpoint something, whether it's sunshine, whether it's your faith in Jesus, which I hope it is, if you're listening to this podcast for certain, that that probably is something that we have in common, and that's a non-negotiable. Then these other things, like our environment, the people around us, and the things we choose to read or watch or do, can either breathe life or death. It says in the Bible that life or death is in the power of the tongue. I believe that that's true. I also believe that what we focus on can bring us life or death. Metaphorically speaking. We can choose to have things in our lives that bring us joy, that cultivate joy, that cultivate hope, and that cultivate encouragement. So maybe turn off that thing that is draining you or causing you to fear. Maybe turn on some praise music or some favorite happy pop music or whatever that is for you. Maybe dance or exercise, or go for a walk with a friend, or go exercise, watch some cartoons, do some art project. Bring joy, bring happiness. Cultivate focus.

When I'm holed up in my home with snow all over the ground and too cold to go out and just not feeling very energetic, I try to focus on what my input is, what I read, what I watch, who I spend time with, and what we do when we spend time together. Those are the things that give life. If you're feeling discouraged today, if the winter doldrums have gotten you down, if you're going through a rough patch in life, I want you to remember that you can always make a choice to look for something good in your life, in your environment, and make an intention to have it, even during the bleakest times. It may simply be that you pick up one thing at the store that brings you joy, make yourself a nourishing meal, allow yourself the pleasure of a nice nap or a good call with an old friend, take your dog for a walk while picking up something that just makes you smile to look at it, or go outside and breathe in the fresh air and just spend time in God's presence.

Sometimes the bleakness sneaks up on you, and if the bleakness has snuck up on you and you're like, wait a minute, I'm more down than I am up, take a moment and intentionally choose what you will do each day that is going to bring life until you do that so often that better days are coming. My grandmother always said, better days are coming, Michelle. Better days are coming, and my grandfather always said, up above the clouds, the sun is shining. I think those are so true. We just have to hold on. I'm going back to my 80s roots here, my teenage 80s roots with the song, "Hold On." It's like, hold on for one more day...things will go your way. I love that song. That song is so important in its messaging, because sometimes we feel like we just can't take one more thing.

Just do one thing to cultivate joy in your life. One more thing to focus and hold on to the Lord until you do it again and again until the sun starts to shine for you. The sunshine will come out. Jesus is still Jesus, and He loves you, and He has good for you and a good plan for your life.

If it doesn't feel like it right now, choose your focus, choose your actions, choose what you do and who you spend time with, and look for the good. Make something good. When I feel that way and I'm cooped up in the house, I love the fireplace and I can cozy up with my favorite blanket and a book. Oh, look, here's the dog! I can have a nice conversation with somebody. I can go clean something that makes me feel all fresh and alive.

Whatever it is that's in your hands to do, you can choose to do it to the glory of God, and you can do it for joy. Building light into your day, day after day, until you get into a sunnier season of life. I hope that helps you today. Just to be encouraged that better days are coming. The sun is shining up above the clouds. Whether you do that with an S-U-N or ultimately S-O-N, Jesus is shining. He still has good for you. Just hold on for one more day.

My husband and I have this kind of running joke together about parking spaces, where I can pretty much get us a good parking space most of the time, and he will have us over several rows and having to walk. Now, you could say having to walk could be healthy, health benefits, and things like that. But for me, I like health benefits, but I prefer a good parking space. So, when we're driving, particularly in the city or in a parking garage, I am going to look for the absolute best spot possible. It is just the way I live my life when it comes to parking. My husband, on the other hand, has a more practical problem-solving approach. He thinks in ways of, well, if it's busy or everybody's here, there's going to be a line, and then this is going to happen, and there's not going to be spots, and then I'll have to go back around so I'm actually saving time by just moving over a couple of rows where I can be sure to get a spot.

Now, neither one is wrong, but mine does seem, in our kind of silent tally together to be the more effective one to get a close parking space. Right? Because I just have this mindset, this belief that there's got to be one. There's got to be one, and more than not, more often than not, there is.

In fact, this morning I went to a bakery. There's a bakery next to us. It's a Christian bakery. It's like 10 minutes away from us. It's a really big bakery. I mean, this is like Disney worthy bakery. It practically takes up a whole city block with everything that is involved in this bakery. It's not because I think the baked goods are so great. In fact, I usually don't even get the baked goods most of the time. Most of the time I get something to drink and maybe something like a sandwich or something on the side to have to eat. It's the fact that in this bakery, everybody wants to come on a Saturday morning. They have an overflow parking lot. They have one in the front; they have one in the back. The people that come on Saturday mornings are everywhere! Everywhere! And it's hard to get a spot yet, I would say nine out of ten times, maybe on the low end, eight out of ten times, I can find a parking spot in the main lot simply because I believe I can. Now, that doesn't mean I'm, like, manifesting a spot. This means other people, probably like my husband, with minds that think in very rational ways, would say, oh, there's not going to be a spot there. Everybody's at the bakery on Saturday. Let's park in the back and save time. I'm like, well, if everybody's parking in the back, I bet there's a spot up front for me. So, sure enough, here I am, and there were like four spots this morning in this parking lot. Now, it doesn't always work like that, but it's pretty funny because it really does seem to be a mindset of what you're looking for. Right?

My husband is looking for the practical because he has an engineering brain, so he wants to look for the things that make sense, how to problem solve, how to prevent problems and that's not bad. We absolutely need that, or our buildings would fall down, our cars wouldn't work, we wouldn't have computers. I mean, everything would be a mess if we didn't have people thinking like that. But then there are people like me who think more, let's say, creatively, and in that way, well, why not try? Well, what's it hurt?

I think that there's a good place for both. I think there's a balance that we have to be wise with kind of using knowledge and wisdom, but we also have to be wise in using the gifts of hope and truth and thinking in ways that are positive, good, pure, lovely, true, and those kinds of things. I'm not saying my husband doesn't. I'm simply saying that there's a place for all of it, but we get so used to being in our way of doing it that we can often forget the fact that that's our kind of set point and that's our viewpoint and that's our way of doing it. When that happens, we can get distracted in the sense that we end up thinking we're seeing things clearly when we're not. 

Let me take this to the clinical room. Whenever I'm in a therapy session, I look at a lot of different things. I look at the body language of the client. I look at the facial expression, what we call affect, the mood, the tone, and the vocal pattern. I look at the word choice. I look at the breathing patterns. These are all things that just over time, being a counselor, pick up and just almost innately, intuitively sense simply by the practice of watching, listening, and noticing. Then you throw into that, that the Lord has His Holy Spirit in me to help me. There's a whole beautiful world of looking at a person and trying to figure out how to come alongside them as best I can to help them reach their goals.

It's so interesting how I can notice when people are anxious, and they think they're not. They think that, no, I'm doing fine. It's because they've been so used to being anxious for so long, they don't realize that their set point is: do more, go faster, push harder. Boom, boom, boom! I'm saying, we don't have to do that. We're here in therapy. We can just slow down, and you can use this time for you to reflect, to breathe, to think, to evaluate, and to make decisions. But, oh, my goodness, they just came out of looking for a parking space, so to speak, and like, it's been this rat race and all the pressures, and instead I'm saying, it's okay, just be here with me.

God says that to us; it's not about what we do or accomplish and push and the tension and the have-to's. It's, hey, be here with Me. Let's just be present. Let all of the noise of the world, all of the expectations, all of the trying to get ahead or get something else or achieve something, like a parking space, and let's just linger. Gain space, gain time back. Like my husband's perspective on the parking space. It's okay. We can walk. We could slow down. We don't have to be pushing front and center all the time. When you realize that at any point, you can pause the world, all of those messages, all of the tension, and just be present with God, carving out that space, you can have the most ultimate premium parking space being right there with God. He always has a good seat for you at the table. He is always there looking at how He can walk alongside you as you walk alongside Him, how the two of you can partner together towards the goals you have, that he's put in your heart. If they're not the ones he's put in your heart, then those are the wrong goals. You don't have to worry.

My encouragement today is you are not behind. You are not behind. You are not alone. But you may be looking through your own lens, through your own perspective, your own set point, your own view of expectations and have-tos. Maybe, just maybe, it's okay to take some time to breathe and say, it's okay. There's a spot for me with the Lord. Let's pull into that spot and sit with Him and have a really prime spot right where we need to. We can take our time getting to that spot, too. Maybe we walk there gently, and we just sit there presently, and we lay down our burdens and we do both rather than an either/or

Lord, here's my busy to do list. Here's how I'm trying to serve You. Here's all the tension I'm feeling. Here's how fast and anxious my nervous system is. Here's everything I don't even realize. But what do you see? Lord, you are the ultimate counselor. You are the ultimate one that I can have these divine appointments with, not like an earthly counselor, not like a bakery, parking lot.  Lord, you are there for me to have a front seat in front of you where you can help me. We can say, the world needs to pause, and I can be present and have that space, that prime space to decompress with you. Lord, I hope that you will lead me in the things that you want to lead me in and help me to lay down the things that the world tries to tell me are so important or that I feel have to be done or the things that I'm believing and doing that I'm striving for that aren't actually necessary and that I don't even realize I'm carrying. So, Lord, right now, I'm coming into that space with you. I thank you that there's always a spot for me.

I invite you to that posture today to take your spot, lay down the rest of it, and let the Lord be with you right where you are. You're not behind. You are right on time because you are with the God who is outside of time. He is the alpha and the omega, and He knows where you are right now. I invite you to be with Him right where you are right now and let Him be the one who sets your pace.

For your activities, for your day, for your thoughts, for your nervous system, getting in line with Him is always right on time. I hope that encourages you today!