Christians in a Fallen World
If you're here, you're likely a Christian woman, right? That's like a given, right? And so, what makes us Christian women? Romans 10:9 says that if we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart, God raised him from the dead, we will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified. It is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. So when we know Jesus as our savior, then we want to live for him and like him, and we've died to ourselves and therefore we serve him. Right?
So those are like foundational concepts of salvation, but why then do we, particularly as Christian women who believe this and have that power, still end up with shaky voices, feeling like we can't speak our truth or feeling uncertain about ourselves, not feeling good enough, feeling worried about what other people think, having anxiety or physical sensations that come along with anxiety or have mental junk getting in our way?
The reason being, obviously, because we're in a fallen world and we're also in a situation where the enemy wants to come and mess with us, and so we don't want to let him mess with us, and that's something we don't have to let him do. So, I'm going to go through this as we think about those lies that you in particular may have kind of nagging you in the background. Raise your hand if any of those sound like things that go through your head on a pretty regular basis.
The Enemy Is Not Creative
Yeah, It's like universal, and it's so dumb for it to be so universal. It's like the enemy is not that creative, right? So, it's not dumb that we feel how we feel, but if everybody is having this, it's like we should be able to see this is not real because I'll bet you can look at all the other women in here and think they have something important of God in them and have something important to contribute. If I were talking to them, I'd encourage them and tell them how great they are. Right? And you guys have done that. So, what makes you any different?
That's the lie of the enemy, that we're different. That's the lie that we're the ones who don't know what we're talking about, we're going to embarrass ourselves, we're not a good enough Christian, or whatever those lies are.
I just want to encourage you that that is the enemy's boringness as far as he's not very creative. It's the same old lies. It's the same old junk. He's all about comparison, and there really is no comparison in Christ, right? We're individuals. He's all about one-upping people and shame and guilt. That's not of God either. When we're aware of it and you realize, each of us realizes that we are not the odd-one-out (as in nothing new under the sun), and that God died for us, and we are saved because of Him, and we have His power, that's where we really can stand in that power.
Feelings and Thoughts Matter and Don't Matter
So, this is a "both/and" thing, right? Because this membership is off of a podcast that's Mental Health for Christian Women. Well, mental health for Christian women is an important concept because there are mental health issues, there are emotional health issues, and there are things like nervous systems that have gotten lots of messages from trauma in the past and things that make us more prone to some of this junk that we're thinking. As a coach and as a therapist, I can say this and also say the other, which is feelings and thoughts matter, and yet feelings and thoughts don't matter. Both are true. They totally matter in the sense that we need to be aware of them. We need to take them captive. We need to be aware of what they're trying to tell us, because God made us with thoughts and feelings, but we can't be ruled by them, and we can't let them lie to us. They are not the most important thing, and they don't define us. When you look at it through that, it's, again, one of those concepts that I say a lot, which is "both/and" because they're important, and yet they are not the most important thing. They are not the truth tellers. They are not the things that tell you your identity. They are not the things that tell you the truth about yourself. They merely tell you perceptions of the experience that you're having in your thoughts and your emotions at that point, but they are not based on your identity in Christ.
Now, it'd be great if they always lined up like that and you could feel confident in your body, thoughts, and feelings. This all lines up in my identity in Christ. Ideally, that would be great, but because that's not how we always live in this world, it's very hard to do that because we do have bodies, but God made the bodies intelligently to protect us and help us. We need to do the "both/and" and pay attention to the thoughts and feelings as well as heal the wounds, get them tended to, whether that's counseling, going to a good friend, having prayer being done over us, or all of them. It's all good, but we need to take that intentional time to heal and to be aware of what we're noticing.
How Dare We Think We Aren't Good Enough?
So, in that way, it's important, but here's why it's not the end all be all. First, your identity, your power comes from God. You've probably heard me say this before, but Romans 8:11, says that the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you as a Christian woman, which means the spirit that can overcome even death is in you and in Him, we live and move and have our being. That's Acts 17:28. Therefore, the power of God that is in you and that you live out of is God. You are breathed from God. In Genesis 2:7, it says, then the Lord God formed the human of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils breath of life, and the human became a living creature. That naturally goes into this next one, which is 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you? (again, that power in you, that breath in you) whom you have received from God, you are not your own. You were bought at a price. So, if you are not your own, you are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And I say this to myself as well: How dare we think that we're not good enough? That's like a smack in the face in a sense, if someone says, no, I've given you everything. I've died for you. I've raised again. I've given you that power, and I know who you are, and you are mine, and I breathed into you. Who in the world are we to say, I can't do it? I'm not good enough? Oh, I should shrink back because what will other people think? Oh, I don't know. I'm too scared right now.
It doesn't mean that we don't have to deal with those things that hurt us or that God cares. He's there. He sees our tears. He bottles them up. He finds us precious and dependent on Him, of course. But at the same time, it's kind of prideful to think that we're not good enough because it's almost saying we have knowledge against what God says about us, and so wouldn't that be sin?
We Are the Light of the World
Maybe we need to get out of our own way and say, okay, let's take the stuff that's ensnaring us, those thoughts and those feelings, and instead turn them back to Christ and go, no, I know who I am in the Lord. I know that I have the breath of God in me and the power of the Holy Spirit. So then having that awareness, we get to put that towards our feelings, and that's where we get to take back our power. We get to realize that, as Matthew 5:14-16 says, we are the light of the world, a city that is set on a hill, that cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven. So, when we are that lamp and let our light shine, we are glorifying God and that's our purpose. That's why we're here. It all points back to Him.
If you ever doubt whether God can use you, or whether you are good enough, or whether others know better than you, or whether your voice and thoughts and life matters, remember what Psalm 139:14 says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that God's works are wonderful, and we know that full well. If you would know that for your neighbor here, know it for yourself; you are that wonderful creation.
When the enemy tries to lie to you and 1 Peter 5:8-9 says that's the case: Be sober, be vigilant because he enemy tries to roar like a lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith. Don't be one of those he may just. No, that's that old lie. Not true. I'm going to stand against that in Jesus' name. I know who I am In Christ! The enemy's going to say, she's no fun. She won't play anymore!
As a Christian counselor and coach for women, I have the advantage of hearing what's going on behind the scenes in many women's lives and see how women get stuck in the lies they believe which hold them back. In my experience, I have found there are four reasons that cause many women to get stuck and remain in a vicious cycle, causing them to not gain traction towards their goals in life. Most of the time, if these can be mastered, women can overcome what is going on and get unstuck!
The Glass Ceiling
First, I like to envision a glass ceiling as a metaphor for these 4 Reasons for Getting Stuck, not in terms of the business world, but in terms of our own lives. I think we often have our own glass ceilings where these four things get in the way. We don't even realize it because it's metaphorical "glass," and we can see through it. When these four things are addressed, we can shatter that glass ceiling. With God's help, we can keep going, and there's really no limit to how much good we can have in our lives! We have to intentionally cultivate a belief that is not limiting us.
Four Reasons for Getting Stuck
Are You Going Too BIG?
Many of us go too BIG and believe if we can't do it all, then we're not doing anything. We may believe if we're not fully able to do something, we can't. In these cases where you can't do it all at once, choose one thing that will have the biggest impact and make the biggest difference and repeat it until it's solid or a good habit. Incorporate it as part of your life where you can do it without thinking. If you don't just focus on that one thing, you won't make traction on anything because of the burden of carrying all the areas you want to change. You only have so much time and energy and the burden of trying to do something in all areas at once can feel like failure. So don't go too broad and don't go all in or nothing, but instead pick one thing to focus on improving, do it well until you feel solid in it, and then pick the next one thing. Chunking it is the best way to do it!
Do You Struggle with Trauma?
It has been said that from the time someone really starts to be aware of their mental health issues to getting help can be 12 years! That's over a decade of suffering that could be helped a lot sooner. We tend to make all kinds of excuses for not addressing the trauma. We may minimize it as not a big deal or think that we'll get over it. We may think if others can do it, so can I or it's not as bad as others so I can tough it out. This type of rationalization when you are hurting and stuck due to trauma doesn't help you heal from it. Trauma needs trauma healing with help from somebody who can address what has impacted your nervous system where the information is stored which is keeping you stuck. So, if you keep hitting against the same things over and over, you're going to notice patterns. If those patterns are rooted in fear or trauma, I encourage you to reach out to a professional who can help you!
What Is Your Mindset? What Do You Believe?
It's often difficult to reach goals because of our mindset. Our mindset is what we believe we can do and what we don't believe we can do. We often think we have a realistic mindset because that's the lens through which we view the world and our brain is what we use to determine it. This is why we have to take our mindsets back to scripture on a daily basis because the renewing of our mind gives us more accurate lenses. For example, I'm currently struggling with some eyesight issues for which I need to go to the eye doctor. I am noticing how much my vision is clouded in one of my eyes making things harder to focus on, and I need it to be healed. I need to remove that cloudiness, distortion, or diffusion of light because I can't see with accuracy. Once I get that corrected, I will see clearly. With my eyes, I know I can see much more clearly out of one eye than the other. When I apply this example to our mindset, we don't even know what we have been tolerating for so long if we've been accepting it as truth. We decide this truth in our minds and if this is not lined up with scripture, we might not be seeing things as clearly as we think we are. Through scripture, we can have a mindset that challenges limited beliefs or that glass ceiling and speaks the truth where we can do all things through Christ. As women, we don't want to play small; we want to play for God who created everything from the stars in the sky to every hair on your head.
Where's Your Confidence?
A lack of confidence is something that may also leave you feeling stuck. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength...this is the confidence in which you can have a better life and not live in misery. This confidence is one in which you can do and achieve hard things. So, if you don't have the confidence in yourself right now, have the confidence in God because He says He will never leave you or forsake you. He is where we can put our confidence. God didn't make junk; He made you fearfully and wonderfully with many gifts, skills, and talents. He can do amazing things through your life, but you need to let Him by healing that which hasn't been healed through professional treatment if you need it and not trying to do everything at once by choosing one thing at a time. Don't tell yourself that it's not good and instead, keep working at it until you get good and then go to the next step. Have confidence in what He can do and check your mindset by returning it back to the truths of scripture and the immensity of who God is and all He created for you.
If you do these four things in your life, they are going to make a huge difference. You'll be amazed at what you and God achieve together because He can already do it and you can too, but you just need to know it!
