Pep Talk When You Want To Gain Confidence and Overcome Insecurity

Could you use a pep talk today? If you want to feel better about being in your own skin and who you are, then look no farther because it's time to say goodbye to insecurity and to know who you are in Christ.

Today's message is coming from the heart, the heart of God towards you through me. So, you've got God's heart and my heart coming at you in today's message, and that is to let you know that you are valuable, and you are unique. You are a masterpiece who has amazing gifts created by a God who does not make mistakes. You can do all things through Christ, who gives you strength. He cares about every detail. He knows the words before they're on your lips. He knows when you're going to go to sleep at night or to stand up from a seated position. His thoughts about you outnumber the grains of sand. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Anything that tries to tell you differently, anyone who tries to diminish you, minimize you, criticize you, condemn you, judge you, shame you, or lie to you, is not of God. They are not acting of God. They are not representing Him, and you don't need to listen to them. So why do we listen? Sometimes because we're not convinced of our own worth. Sometimes we might be insecure about that thing, so it resonates a little bit deeper, whatever it was that someone said.

It's a Lie of the Enemy

There was this business meeting I was on with a woman who is lovely. She comes across very professional and yet very personally encouraging and just sweet and just fully capable. She said she got some feedback from somebody, or from many people, I guess, that she was too pushy or direct. She may be direct, but that does not mean she's pushy. She may be direct, but that does not mean it's bad. She is also all of these other wonderful things. So, looking at it through other people's eyes and then judging something, that's a characteristic, because it's different, as if it's bad, is a mistake and it's a lie of the enemy. And he likes to try to do that because if he can make you feel insecure, not worthy, not good enough, question your value, question your right to show up in life, make you feel diminished in any way, then he's effectively hurt you and taken you out of the equation of making an impact.

You Are a Masterpiece

So, I want to encourage you, be the unique person that you are. Let the world hear you. Let them know who you are because you bring something to the table that no one else does, that no one else can. God doesn't make anything without a purpose, and He has a purpose for you. The Bible says that He has a future and a hope for you, and that hope will not be cut off. If you're not feeling enough today, if you're worried about people judging you, if you're insecure in any way, or you've been hurt before and you're just trying to survive because you don't know how to feel good about yourself going forward, I want you to hear this message today. Rewind it, replay it, play it again if you need to. You are a unique masterpiece.

God made no mistakes when He designed you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you are gifted in amazing ways for such a time as this, the enemy's just scared of you. People who are insecure, who are saying things, that's their problem, that's not yours. You don't have to buy into the lies. You don't have to shrink for anybody, you don't have to overthink, you don't have to try harder, you don't have to play small you don't have to stay quiet when you need to speak up, and you don't need to speak up when you're fine staying quiet. This is not about you and other people. It's like that Mother Teresa prayer. Love people anyway, do good anyway, but it's never been about you and them anyway.

You & God

This whole thing is about you and God. This whole thing called life is about you knowing who God is and becoming all that He has designed for you to be so that you can love others and draw others to Him and be Him in the world. Show up reflecting your heavenly Father, the traits of the Holy Spirit who lives in you, the mind of Christ, all of those things live inside of you as a believer. You can claim and hold on to the truth of your identity and be solid, refuse to entertain the lies any further, and make a choice of not listening to lies by saying, I do not accept that, that is not getting into my space. I know the truth about me because I know who made me. I am fine. I am powerful, strong, and determined, and I am God's. He's got great things for me. I am fully capable, fully enough and don't need to apologize for being seen and taking up space and speaking truth and showing up in love with my gifts to glorify God. I want that for you. I want that for me. 

I want you to really take to heart the fact that the rest of it is all clutter and lies just designed to deceive and get you spinning your wheels, get you hurting, get you doubting, get you to stop taking action that will lead others to Christ and bring healing to others and love to others. And we don't need to play that game. Time's too valuable, you're too valuable. God's too valuable. Others are too valuable to listen to lies.

Sticky Fly Paper

So, I want to encourage you, take a piece of paper out, write down all of the insecurities that you have, all of the lies, all of the things that go through your mind on a day-to-day basis and for each one that you write down, keep a running list of it. You can do this daily; you can do this for a week; you could do this for a month; you could do it for the next hour, whatever you choose. But choose a time frame and brain dump all of those lies, all of those insecurities, all of those doubts and fears, all of those hurtful things, get them out of you onto paper and imagine that that paper is just sticky paper like fly paper and just all the icky flies, all the icky lies get stuck to this paper, and they can't come back onto you.

God's Word in Your Heart

Then get out another sheet of paper and write down God's truth about you, God's purposes, God's ways, who you are in Christ. And write those down and that put that inside your heart. Hide God's word in your heart, in your mind, in your words, in your self-talk, in the way you show up in the world, in the way you talk to others, in the way you act and think. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways. Acknowledge Him and he will direct your path. Do not be deceived. Don't look to the left or the right. Look up. Walk with God.

I want to remind you one more time before I go. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God loves you and cherishes you and cares about you. He thinks you're to die for, and He did. You are valuable. Now go live in the power of the resurrected Jesus Christ. He loves you that much. And that's what's important in this life, living for Him because He loves everyone that much too. Now go serve Him. And don't let the lies get in the way. Go take on the day.



How To Stop Your Fears, Thoughts, and Feelings From Lying to You

I saw this really cool picture of Queen Elizabeth II recently. It was when she was on stage at a Live Aid concert in 1985, and she was wearing these cutoff jeans and this short sleeved white t-shirt. Actually, it was sleeveless, and she didn't have a crown on, and she didn't even have a tiara or jewelry. She just looked so relaxed and so cool standing there on stage and ready to perform. I had never known that she had done this, so it was really, really impressive. I was very impressed, and she really got my respect going there.

The thing is it never actually happened. It was an AI generated image, and I thought for a moment that it was real. That's something that our brains can do to us. If you've ever judged yourself and scared yourself, wondering why you've had intrusive thoughts or thought of things that you really are repulsed by or felt that because you had some fleeting thought or negative feelings, unpleasant feelings, that you were somehow causing something awful to happen, I want to help you have peace today. You see, just like that image of Queen Elizabeth was not real, the way you feel about yourself when you judge yourself simply by the messages and the way that your brain and your feelings put the messaging together when they receive it, can be faulty pictures, not actual truth, not based on fact, just mere images, creations that we ascribe meaning to that you think you're seeing clearly when that's not actually the case.

So, here's the main point of all of this in today's podcast. When you think things, I want you to realize that while what you think may be fact may be true, there is no way for your brain to know the only thing that your brain can do is to make predictions and calculations based on information and experiences that it has had exposure to before. So, when you have thoughts, they are not actual things that need to be scary or need to be feared, they are simply chemical reactions. They're neurons firing. When you have feelings, same thing. It's nerve fibers, it's chemicals, it's energy. It is information that your body is encoding and decoding. That's all it is.

It is not truth. Now, it can represent truth and fact and figure that out. The way it can do that is from prior experience, ways that we've learned things before that we know to be true, such as there is gravity. We know that because we've fallen down, or someone taught it to us, or we read it in a book, right? We know things because we've tested them out, or because God's word says it, or because the Holy Spirit has told us. But we don't know things as absolute fact simply because we've perceived them. That could tell us something that isn't true, and we might confuse it with something that is true. Many times, when I work with clients who have thoughts that are intrusive or that they don't want, they fear that they are somehow some sort of deviant, or that they should be punished or put away because they can't believe that they had those thoughts and they're so awful and that couldn't be further from the truth. These are typically clients who are very decent people who want to serve the Lord and who just are very aware of how they don't want the awful feelings or the awful thoughts to hurt anybody.

It's actually the opposite of what they're thinking, but because they make a leap and associate negative thoughts or feelings, unpleasant thoughts or feelings, things that they would never want to think or to feel with a value judgment, they get confused, and then they get scared and get down on themselves. If that's you, I want to encourage you to remember this Queen Elizabeth AI generated picture. You see, I had different parts of information. I had what my eyes took in as I looked at the different parts of the picture. I had my context of what I knew about Queen Elizabeth II. I had my memory of the fact that there was a Live Aid concert or something similar back in the 80s. I was able to think, I can't actually tell if this is true or not, but what I was able to tell was that I was getting information and I was trying to figure out how to process it's meaning and to ascribe to it and figure out whether that picture was actually true or false. Then I put it against other information that I had, and that other information told me that the queen is not somebody who was into casual attire. She was someone who took the monarchy very seriously. Knowing that, I realized this is probably not true, because I used other information and backed it up with facts. I did know from experience, from learning, from prior exposure, and was able to make a more accurate picture.

You see, feelings and thoughts are simply chemicals, neurons, nerve fibers, and energy. 
They are no more real and true as value judgments and accurate pictures of who you are or how situations are than money is something of value. Listen to this. Money is something that has value because people ascribe value to it and put meaning towards it and know what it's worth, how to use it, what you can get for it, what you can do with it, but in reality, what is money? Money is paper. That's it. If we didn't ascribe value to this paper, these threads, this fabric, it would mean nothing. It would just be paper. Same with the chemicals. They're just chemicals. The neurons are just neurons doing their job with energy. It is what we learn to tell ourselves about the meaning and about the picture that we're seeing as we try to put the facts together, or what we perceive as the facts together that can sometimes cause us distress. That's why it's important to take every thought captive, put it against God's word, pray about it, be wise and discerning. Because if we just take it at face value, like I did, that picture of the queen, we might believe something that isn't true. No matter how true it feels, no matter how true it seems, no matter how scared we are of it, how curious we are about it, or how surprised we are, we're simply having a human experience of input and nerves and wiring that God created. There is absolute truth, but it's not something that we can tell right off the bat. Just like with an AI generated image of the queen at a concert, I had to run it through its paces and figure out how I could find what the truth actually was.

That's what I want you to think about. Whenever you have thoughts or feelings that are unpleasant or intrusive or you start feeling bad about yourself for having, I want you to realize that it's not a sin to simply have input or to simply have these chemical reactions. What you choose to do with the thoughts or what you choose to do with the feelings is where there's some substance of something that shows your character and shows what you believe in, what action choices you've chosen, and what you will do. Having the thoughts is just something that happens. Having the feelings is just something that happens. Putting meaning to them is something that happens, but putting meaning to them can be true or false, accurate or inaccurate, and it can cause you peace or it can cause you disturbance.
I've seen this so many times in the women that I've worked with, especially when I work with Christian women who really want to do the right thing and be pleasing to God in the way that they live their lives. These unpleasant thoughts or feelings can really, really cause them a lot of headaches. I want to just give you the understanding that you don't have to have a lot of disturbance because of the meaning that you ascribe to thoughts and feelings. They're just chemicals, reactions, nerves, fibers, energy, and they're your brain trying to sort through and figure out what's what. You get to determine through putting it against things that are true, like the Bible and prior experience, to figure out what you're going to do with it. That's something you can control, that's something you can choose, and that's something that you can take action in wisdom on. So just like that picture of Queen Elizabeth was not actually true, I could have ascribed meaning to it, but I might have been wrong. So, I needed to run it through the paces and tell myself what was actually true, not what seemed to be true.

If you're telling yourself things about yourself because you've had intrusive thoughts, disturbing thoughts, painful emotions, fears, and that you start to make the leap and think that things are going to go badly because you had some fear, or that things are going horribly wrong because you had a thought, I want you to realize those are distortions. There's not a cause and effect that is absolutely true. The only thing that is absolutely true is you're having information nation, and you need to put it against other stuff to determine what is true and what is false so that you can take every thought captive and learn to tell yourself the truth. It'll save you a lot of internal grief and disturbance, and it's something that can help bring you peace, hope.

Go take on the day.


 
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