Mental Health for Christian Women | Mental Health for Christian Women, LLC

Christians in a Fallen World

If you're here, you're likely a Christian woman, right? That's like a given, right? And so, what makes us Christian women? Romans 10:9 says that if we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart, God raised him from the dead, we will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified. It is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. So when we know Jesus as our savior, then we want to live for him and like him, and we've died to ourselves and therefore we serve him. Right?

So those are like foundational concepts of salvation, but why then do we, particularly as Christian women who believe this and have that power, still end up with shaky voices, feeling like we can't speak our truth or feeling uncertain about ourselves, not feeling good enough, feeling worried about what other people think, having anxiety or physical sensations that come along with anxiety or have mental junk getting in our way?

The reason being, obviously, because we're in a fallen world and we're also in a situation where the enemy wants to come and mess with us, and so we don't want to let him mess with us, and that's something we don't have to let him do. So, I'm going to go through this as we think about those lies that you in particular may have kind of nagging you in the background. Raise your hand if any of those sound like things that go through your head on a pretty regular basis.

The Enemy Is Not Creative

Yeah, It's like universal, and it's so dumb for it to be so universal. It's like the enemy is not that creative, right? So, it's not dumb that we feel how we feel, but if everybody is having this, it's like we should be able to see this is not real because I'll bet you can look at all the other women in here and think they have something important of God in them and have something important to contribute. If I were talking to them, I'd encourage them and tell them how great they are. Right? And you guys have done that. So, what makes you any different?

That's the lie of the enemy, that we're different. That's the lie that we're the ones who don't know what we're talking about, we're going to embarrass ourselves, we're not a good enough Christian, or whatever those lies are.

I just want to encourage you that that is the enemy's boringness as far as he's not very creative. It's the same old lies. It's the same old junk. He's all about comparison, and there really is no comparison in Christ, right? We're individuals. He's all about one-upping people and shame and guilt. That's not of God either. When we're aware of it and you realize, each of us realizes that we are not the odd-one-out (as in nothing new under the sun), and that God died for us, and we are saved because of Him, and we have His power, that's where we really can stand in that power.

Feelings and Thoughts Matter and Don't Matter

So, this is a "both/and" thing, right? Because this membership is off of a podcast that's Mental Health for Christian Women. Well, mental health for Christian women is an important concept because there are mental health issues, there are emotional health issues, and there are things like nervous systems that have gotten lots of messages from trauma in the past and things that make us more prone to some of this junk that we're thinking. As a coach and as a therapist, I can say this and also say the other, which is feelings and thoughts matter, and yet feelings and thoughts don't matter. Both are true. They totally matter in the sense that we need to be aware of them. We need to take them captive. We need to be aware of what they're trying to tell us, because God made us with thoughts and feelings, but we can't be ruled by them, and we can't let them lie to us. They are not the most important thing, and they don't define us. When you look at it through that, it's, again, one of those concepts that I say a lot, which is "both/and" because they're important, and yet they are not the most important thing. They are not the truth tellers. They are not the things that tell you your identity. They are not the things that tell you the truth about yourself. They merely tell you perceptions of the experience that you're having in your thoughts and your emotions at that point, but they are not based on your identity in Christ.

Now, it'd be great if they always lined up like that and you could feel confident in your body, thoughts, and feelings. This all lines up in my identity in Christ. Ideally, that would be great, but because that's not how we always live in this world, it's very hard to do that because we do have bodies, but God made the bodies intelligently to protect us and help us. We need to do the "both/and" and pay attention to the thoughts and feelings as well as heal the wounds, get them tended to, whether that's counseling, going to a good friend, having prayer being done over us, or all of them. It's all good, but we need to take that intentional time to heal and to be aware of what we're noticing.

How Dare We Think We Aren't Good Enough?

So, in that way, it's important, but here's why it's not the end all be all. First, your identity, your power comes from God. You've probably heard me say this before, but Romans 8:11, says that the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you as a Christian woman, which means the spirit that can overcome even death is in you and in Him, we live and move and have our being. That's Acts 17:28. Therefore, the power of God that is in you and that you live out of is God. You are breathed from God. In Genesis 2:7, it says, then the Lord God formed the human of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils breath of life, and the human became a living creature. That naturally goes into this next one, which is 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you? (again, that power in you, that breath in you) whom you have received from God, you are not your own. You were bought at a price. So, if you are not your own, you are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And I say this to myself as well: How dare we think that we're not good enough? That's like a smack in the face in a sense, if someone says, no, I've given you everything. I've died for you. I've raised again. I've given you that power, and I know who you are, and you are mine, and I breathed into you. Who in the world are we to say, I can't do it? I'm not good enough? Oh, I should shrink back because what will other people think? Oh, I don't know. I'm too scared right now.

It doesn't mean that we don't have to deal with those things that hurt us or that God cares. He's there. He sees our tears. He bottles them up. He finds us precious and dependent on Him, of course. But at the same time, it's kind of prideful to think that we're not good enough because it's almost saying we have knowledge against what God says about us, and so wouldn't that be sin?

We Are the Light of the World

Maybe we need to get out of our own way and say, okay, let's take the stuff that's ensnaring us, those thoughts and those feelings, and instead turn them back to Christ and go, no, I know who I am in the Lord. I know that I have the breath of God in me and the power of the Holy Spirit. So then having that awareness, we get to put that towards our feelings, and that's where we get to take back our power. We get to realize that, as Matthew 5:14-16 says, we are the light of the world, a city that is set on a hill, that cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven. So, when we are that lamp and let our light shine, we are glorifying God and that's our purpose. That's why we're here. It all points back to Him.

If you ever doubt whether God can use you, or whether you are good enough, or whether others know better than you, or whether your voice and thoughts and life matters, remember what Psalm 139:14 says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that God's works are wonderful, and we know that full well. If you would know that for your neighbor here, know it for yourself; you are that wonderful creation.

When the enemy tries to lie to you and 1 Peter 5:8-9 says that's the case: Be sober, be vigilant because he enemy tries to roar like a lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith. Don't be one of those he may just. No, that's that old lie. Not true. I'm going to stand against that in Jesus' name. I know who I am In Christ! The enemy's going to say, she's no fun. She won't play anymore!

Would you like to fall asleep easier and have a more restful night? I have 10 simple tips for you today that I hope you'll enjoy, because there is nothing like a good night's sleep.

Do you have trouble falling asleep? This is something that I hear over and over again as I work with women, whether in coaching or in counseling. Today, it actually came up in our membership community about how to have routine for bedtime, as well as how to make sure that you can fall asleep more easily. You know, sometimes people have trouble with falling back asleep after they wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes people have trouble falling asleep to start with. Sometimes people have trouble staying asleep early in the morning. So, they can mean different things and be for different reasons.

Sometimes anxiety will wake you up in the middle of the night. Sometimes depression will leave you sleeping longer than you would normally want to sleep. Some people have the absolute reverse. Then, there are people who are just in between for whatever reason, whether it's a bathroom break in the middle of the night, too much caffeine before bed, or too much blue light.

Today I'm going to give you my top 10 tips for falling asleep as simply as possible. When we think about the routine, notice what is ideal for you. Your routine is going to be customized for your needs. If you work nights, it's going to look different for you as far as a routine than somebody who works during the day. If you're a new parent who has to get up with an infant in the middle of the night, or several times in the middle of the night, it's going to look different for you. These are adaptable and they need to work with your routine. Don't try to fit into somebody else's.

Top 10 Tips for Falling Asleep

Consistent Bed Time Routine: Make the routine yours, not based on what you think it should be or what somebody else's might be or what you've heard could work. I want you to make this yours. You know when your body is tired, and you know when you're pushing past those limits. So, first notice your needs and then make this be customized to you. Be aware of whether you are tired or not, whether you're pushing past your point of where sleep would be good, and whether you're trying to do too much at a time where you should be winding down. Go to sleep at the same time each night and wake up at the same time each morning. This regularity is what's going to help you. So even if your days and nights are reversed, making a routine that works with that so that you have predictable times of going to sleep and predictable times of waking up as much as possible can really help so that you don't have a sleep deficit and your body knows what to expect so that it can work with your natural rhythms and customize it to you.
Pamper Yourself with a Sensory Routine: The second tip is to have a routine that you do once you head to your bedroom. Perhaps it's starting with a nice cup of tea before bed or brushing your teeth. Something that just signals, okay, I'm winding down. Once you get into bed, turning on the lighting to be soft or putting on some music that you enjoy. Some people like worship music or putting on something nice and relaxing to listen to, like a meditation on an app or something like that, then you might want to bring in other senses. You might like to spray some lavender on your pillowcase or to have your favorite hand lotion or foot cream...something that allows you to have a sensory experience that you enjoy whether it's the smell, the feel, or the texture. Make sure your bedding is comfortable and your room is cool. Kind of notice those things about the aesthetics. So, number two is to have a routine and build in a physical experience that makes going to sleep something you enjoy.
Protect Your Eyes from Blue Light: Number three starts before you even get there, and you've probably heard this like crazy, and yet you may be an offender. Please realize that it is good to be off of your phone and devices. That iPad could be tucked away until the next day during business hours, right? There is no need to be on your phone late at night. Now, if you have your Bible on your phone, as I do, or you like to read from the library (Libby app) or from your Kindle, get yourself some blue light glasses or go into your settings and switch to the filter for nighttime so that you actually are not affected by the blue light trying to keep you up. This is the same for television, electronics, and things like video games before bed. Oftentimes, that's more men who do that, but if you happen to be a gamer, that might be something that you want to wear the glasses for or to wind down. If you can do this an hour or optimally 2 hours before bed, where you turn down the blue light and the exposure, that can really help.
Control Body & Room Temperatures: If you want to take a shower at night, take it, but don't do it close to bedtime. Make sure that you do it a couple of hours before bedtime so that by the time you're ready to go to sleep, your temperature is in a good place. Take notice of the temperature of your skin, the temperature in the room, the way you feel in your skin, and is it a good place to be able to sleep? Along with this is to make sure that the temperature of the room is cool enough to sleep, but warm enough for you not to shiver.
Relax Muscles: Remember that you feel tension in your body whether you realize it or not, so what we want to do is to help you release that tension. You can do that by progressive muscle relaxation. Start at your feet or start at your head. Notice where you have tension and consciously release each body part to relax so that the tension goes out. If that is too hard to do, you can go ahead and actually tighten your muscle before you release it. If you tighten the muscle that's already tense, but you can't seem to relax it or can't seem to feel whether it's tight or relaxed, you can intentionally tighten it, hold, and then release it. So, tighten it, hold it for a few counts, and then release it, and then move on to the next one. For instance, tighten your face, scrunch your face, hold your face real tight and scrunchy, and then release it. Notice the tension drain out of it and relax so that you can feel so much better about yourself.
Breath Cycles with Longer Exhales: Do some breathing that can help you. Breathing should be slow, deep, and relaxing. Breathe from your abdomen, breathe in slowly and deeply, and breathe out slowly and deeply. If you want to ramp this up a bit, go ahead and breathe in and hold for a couple of counts, and then release for longer than you inhaled. It'd be like inhale for a certain amount until it's nice and full breath taken in, then hold for maybe three or four counts, and then release for double how long it took you to inhale. If you inhaled for four, exhale for eight. If you inhaled for three, exhale for six...something in that proportion. Slowly, slowly exhale.
Breath Cycles with 2 Inhales and Holds: Here's another breathing technique I absolutely love. This is where you breathe in as much air as you can breathe in from your abdomen, hold it, and when you think that you're holding it and can't take in any more air, breathe in another couple of counts of air. You might breathe in for six, and then when you hold it and you think you're at the top of that breath, take in another breath for a couple of counts.1, 2, hold again, and then slowly, slowly release. For some reason, that is the one that gets me to sleep nearly every time. I usually do about three of those cycles of repetitions, and then I wake up the next morning and I'm like, oh, I guess it worked. I only remember doing that about three or four times.
Exercise Earlier in the Day: Do not exercise later in the day. If you exercise earlier in the day, you have that energy to use and burn throughout the day, but you don't want to get wired at night.
Limit Caffeine at least 6 Hours Before Bed: Stop caffeine around dinner time so that you don't end up with the receptors in your brain that are like, hey, we're wide awake. Be careful of caffeine and be careful of taking in too much stuff that your system is going to have to digest. You don't want to have too much on your stomach so that you're uncomfortable. You don't want to have the caffeine in there that's keeping you awake and messing with the. What is, what's the word I want? Do I want neurons, I don't know in your brain. You don't want it to not let you go to sleep, and it very much interferes with that. Now, you may have had a tolerance built up, and that's normal when you are quite used to having caffeine, but you can slowly reduce that over time and hopefully that will help. (Now, people do say that they have natural remedies, such as, you know, instead of sleeping pills, it might be something like melatonin, which our bodies naturally make. I am not one to speak to that, but I do know that I have heard that if you do that, your system can sometimes stop making enough of its own. So I'm not sure if that's true or not, but please look into that, if that could be something that is causing you issues in any way.)
Visualize: If you can visualize, if you can see things in your mind's eye, visualize someplace that makes you feel like you are absorbed in that picture. Maybe it's being at the beach, and you imagine what the water feels like, imagine seeing the bubbles as your feet go from the sand into the shallow water, and then imagine walking more deeply and what that feels like. Imagine smelling the salt air. Try to bring in all of your senses, as many senses as you can to make this a vivid experience and just focus as if you're feeling those sensations of this imagined place. Maybe you dream of heaven, or you go back to a favorite place you went on vacation, a favorite relative's house, or something like that, and you try to remember everything that you can remember or bring in the feelings of being there. You can also make up something imaginary that you've never experienced. Maybe you saw something on television or read it in a book and try to call that into your mind's eye with as much felt experience as possible. Oftentimes we can drift off into dreams with just keeping our eyes shut and just letting our mind do the thing that wanders until we lose consciousness and get to sleep and get the rest we need.